Friday, January 16, 2009

On Facebook...

Came across this today. I can't help but fully agree.

Facebook becomes an addiction for me. And I don't think I'm the only one. In just minutes (more minutes than I really have!) you can get a sense of connection with people all over the world! You can see what is going on with people who you would otherwise never heard from again. I have many of the same complaints as that blogger.

-Status updates from people I used to know that deeply upset me
-A sense that I must friend anyone who knows me and asks, whether I feel particularly connected to them or not
-A promise of connection with another human being that is at best shallow, and at worst yet another way for us to feel lonely. We get the sense we're connecting, but it's just enough to make us feel like we connected and not enough to keep away loneliness or deepen relationships.
-I can't say anything serious to anyone without people with hugely differing opinions jumping to offer them. I wouldn't have had that conversation with them - I don't particularly enjoy arguing, believe it or not, and not at all over the internet. :)
-I simply cannot keep up with and be friends with everyone on there. Most people can only have a few good friends, and the others just gradually fade away. It's nothing against them, you may even really like them, but there's only so many hours in the day. I think Facebook creates an artificial pressure in this area, and I personally end up feeling sooo badly about it.

It's cute, entertaining, often funny. But is it worth it? I'm just not sure. I must confess, at times, to leaving it open with the live feed going, and reading every entry. Sick.



  1. understand where you are coming from.

    i think, like anything, it's not the facebook, its the interaction it has with us. you could replace facebook with television, books, friends, money, alcohol, etc. church, even. i know you know that, you're a smart girl :)

    for me, i like it as is. i don't feel such an "addiction" (thank god, because i have enough things in my life that DO fall in that category), and i like that it makes me feel as if i have ACCESS to people that i typically wouldn't. it doesn't replace intentional time with people, deeper conversations - it's like those newsletters you usually only get at christmas, and having their most updated phone number on speed dial. if its used as a way for you to better connect with people at the level you can in your life, fantastic. if it makes you feel more isolated or becomes a way to pacify your "connected need" without actually fulfilling it, then it's like the fast food and empty calories you kicked out of your life so long ago -- you realized what you really needed and redoubled your effort over a long period to get it.

    these are my top of the head thoughts :)

  2. wise thoughts from saraw. :) i totally agree.

    maybe a better question to ask is, how do you keep things - anything - from having that particular interaction? because it's just not healthy...

  3. Hi Sara, I'm Joanna's sis-in-law from California. I couldn't agree more. I have a facebook page, but am not very committed to it. I always feel this pressure to "confirm" someone who wants to be my friend, even if we are just aquaintances. I don't see it as the same as blogging mostly because you have to intentionally go to my blog to read about me. With facebook, anything I post is all over anyones elses page if I am their "friend"...I don't know...although if I were really concerned about privacy I wouldn't have a blog! I guess I'm just not totally sold on it.

  4. Fascinating...that blog post from the other blogger almost made me want to do the same thing. Almost. :) But I am going to be very conscious of how I spend my time on there. It's like a down all my productive time.

  5. Hmmm...
    I've been mulling this over lately myself. Interesting perspective. For me the frustration comes with the akwardness that is felt when I see someone I haven't seen in a whiel but I know what' shappening in their personal life simply because of facebook...I feel like I spied on them or something!!! Nevermind they posted the info for the world to see. I am considering "going off the grid" and connecting in the real world myself.