You're kidding, right?

We can't seem to get life back together these days. Nick and I stayed up late last night watching The Devil Wears Prada, since we hadn't spent real time together in a week. (Pretty fun movie, by the way) I went to sleep at 1:00am. Audrey was up four hours later, slept two more hours, and then stayed up. That makes six hours of sleep for me.

Neither girl would take a nap this afternoon, which meant that by 6pm they were wiped out. They both slept until 8ish. Currently Nick, who doesn't feel good, is sound asleep on the couch and both girls are wide awake no where near ready for bed. It is 10:15. Hannah refused to eat the fish that I made for dinner, so she is currently covered in almond butter and crackers.

Tomorrow morning I'm supposed to go to my second to last meeting of my Bible study and then have the mom's group in the afternoon. I bet you could guess what my house looks like. Hmmmm...

Cloned Foods

Go here to send a letter to the FDA commissioner, saying you oppose cloned foods. Right now, everything is set to allow cloned meat and milk from cloned animals with no labeling even. There will be no way to avoid it. Even the "organic" definition may not be able to keep cloned animal products out. Scary stuff, folks. This is open to public comment until April.

Don't you understand that it's nap time?

Our landlord apparently decided it was time to paint our townhouse building, because today a guy showed up to machine sand every single square inch of wood on the building. The neatest part about this? He made it to our next-door neighbors' and our front porch right in the middle of nap time. The things kids have to put up with.

Can we move yet?

Dictionary Definition

This was too random and stupid to pass up:

Sara -- [adjective]: Smells like teen spirit 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Shopping with the girls

Last night my entire family minus my brothers ended up in Denver at the mall. My mom and sisters and Hannah and I walked around together. It was SO fun. And, I found $10 pants that actually fit. That makes it even better. It's funny how the older I get, the more I appreciate my siblings.

Interview

If you're interested, here's an interview with Pastor Ross, Jared, Jon, and Glenn at New Life. At the risk of sounding like I'm dropping names, these guys are friends of mine. Their hearts are so great, and the four of them are having a huge impact on the church right now. God is using them to keep the church from falling apart as a result of what happened with Pastor Ted, and they are doing an amazing job. The leadership they are providing is giving the church direction and purpose again, and it is an exciting place to be.

I got bored

Basics:
Name:	Sara
Date of Birth:	June 4, 1980
Birthplace:	Fullerton , CA
Current Location:	Springs
Eye Color:	Hazelish
Hair Color:	light brown
Height:	5'9 1/4"
Heritage:	German/British/Cherokee
Piercings:	two in each ear
Tattoos:	none
Favourite:
Band/Singer:	Uh...this changes frequently. Of all time...probably Coldplay
Song:	Couldn't pick one to save my life
Movie:	Pride and Prejudice, the new one
Disney Movie:	Robin Hood
TV show:	What Not to Wear
Color:	I really like yellow lately
Food:	My chicken stir-fry
Pizza topping:	pepperoni
Ice-Cream Flavor:	chocolate anything
Drink (alcoholic):	banana daquiri
Soda:	haven't had one in 10 years
Store:	if I could afford it, Banana Republic
Clothing Brand:	whatever
Shoe Brand:	steve madden
Season:	warm
Month:	May
Holiday/Festival:	Christmas
Flower:	anything but mums.
Make-Up Item:	never go without concealer
Board game:	i hate board games, much to Nick's dismay
This or That
Sunny or rainy:	yes
Chocolate or vanilla:	chocolate or REAL vanilla, like vanilla bean
Fruit or veggie:	yes
Night or day:	yes
Sour or sweet:	both
Love or money:	both
Phone or in person:	in person
Looks or personality:	both
Coffee or tea:	tea
Hot or cold:	hot
Your:
Goal for this year:	Stability - financial, health, living situation, church, relationships
Most missed memory:	Ravencrest or playing with worship bands
Best physical feature:	uh...
First thought waking up:	where are hannah and audrey?
Hypothetical personality disorder:	what does that mean? what i would probably have? how should i know?
Preferred type of plastic surgery:	so far i'm fairly satisfied
Sesame street alter ego:	big bird
Fairytale alter ego:	belle
Most stupid remark:	there's been many
Worst crime:	not really a crime, but sneaking in after curfew at Ravencrest
Greatest ambition:	Personally, to be a great wife and mother. Professionally, to someday be paid to lead worship
Greatest fear:	losing a child. can hardly even write it.
Darkest secret:	no thanks
Favorite subject:	Always was English
Strangest received gift:	can't think of any weird ones
Worst habit:	picking zits. EW!
Do You:
Smoke:	never
Drink:	not regularly
Curse:	nope, I have a vocabulary
Shower daily:	mostly
Like thunderstorms:	they're fine
Dance in the rain:	occasionally
Sing:	yep
Play an instrument:	piano
Get along with your parents:	yep
Wish on stars:	sure
Believe in fate:	nope
Believe in love at first sight:	it can start that way, then it becomes a choice
Can You:
Drive:	not at the moment
Sew:	i have learned, but don't have a machine currently
Cook:	yep. I'm pretty good I think
Speak another language:	not fluently. i know some spanish and some german
Dance:	No. I'm horrible.
Sing:	Yep
Touch your nose with your tongue:	Nope
Whistle:	Yes
Curl your tongue:	No! Lame, huh?
Have You Ever:
Been Drunk:	No
Been Stoned/High:	No
Eaten Sushi:	Yes
Been in Love:	Yes
Skipped school:	Not without permission
Made prank calls:	Don't think so
Sent someone a love letter:	yes
Stolen something:	no
Cried yourself to sleep:	yes
Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person?	not taking care of themselves
Are you right or left handed?	right
What is your bedtime?	11ish
Name three things you can't live without:	my computer, my piano, and my Bible are awfully nice. not in that order
What is the color of your room?	white. lame.
Do you have any siblings?	4, all younger
Do you have any pets?	not yet
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars?	no
What is you middle name?	Kay
What are you nicknames?	Nothing besides Sara Kay
Are you for or against gay marriage?	Very against
What are your thoughts on abortion?	I think we should educate women on the alternatives. Then, most wouldn't think they even need to do that. Outlawin them won't fix the real problem.
Do you have a crush on anyone?	my wonderful husband
Are you afraid of the dark?	only when i watch scary movies
How do you want to die?	painlessly
What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day?	one?
Would you take a bullet for the one you love?	yes
What is the last law you’ve broken?	speed limits
In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color:	brown
Eye color:	brown
Height	5'11"
Weight	this is changing right now
Most important physical feature:	eyes and hands
Biggest turn-off	bad breath. :)
Take this survey / PimpSurveys.com

Pregnant in America

This is one of those propaganda films, but the subject is actually interesting to me. This guy has set out to expose the big money-maker that hospital births are to doctors and hospitals, and talk about how that affects pregnancy and childbirth in America. Hard to tell what it will be like, but it will definitely be interesting...

Autism

This article is a good introduction to what an increasing number of people believe. There is some evidence that a mercury based preservative in some vaccines can cause autism. This preservative was recently removed from all infant vaccines because it was proven harmful, but for some reason it is still used in flu vaccines.

Every parent has to make their own decision about vaccines for their family, but I think it is important to be well-informed about the choice, not just choose it by default.

Protecting our girls

I came across this article tonight. Even the secular community sees it's better to keep our kids from growing up too fast. Interesting.

Discipline

I found this article today. Focus on the Family sends out a "Focus on your child" newsletter that sometimes has really helpful things on it. It seems to me that the key to having well-behaved kids is having well-trained, mature parents. Only a mature person could follow through the way this article suggests. Sometimes I read stuff like this and realize how much I need to grow to be a good mom!

I'm Amazed

So, we put Audrey in a second crib in Hannah's room in the past few days. We had put off doing this for the longest time, because I just couldn't handle the battle I was sure it would be. Just now, I laid both girls in their respective cribs for a nap. There was about 3 minutes of fussing, not even really crying, and then they were both out. They LOVE being in the same room. The first thing Hannah says when I get her out of her bed is, "Audrey?" Why did we keep Audrey in the pack and play in our room? Why didn't we do this months ago?

Fun night

We had our first all-night stomach flu party with Hannah last night. You haven't lived till you've been puked on by a 2 year old.

Worn out

We looked at houses to rent today. We actually found one we like a lot. We can't do anything about it until our townhouse gets re-rented though. It's kind of hard. Can't we move next weekend? I know God has all the timing in His hands, but it's still hard to wait. If it's meant to be it'll happen. But it's hard to wait. But it'll be okay. But it's hard.

Hannah has had 102.6 fever for two days. No other symptoms. Audrey has a runny nose but no fever. Little kids shouldn't have to get sick, it's too sad. But, have you ever noticed how beautiful kids are when they have fever? Bright eyes and rosy cheeks... Poor baby! Hopefully she'll feel better tomorrow.

I'm feeling better every day now. Wednesday was my last really tough day. My eye is almost well, and it's a little easier for me to talk. The flashes of light have diminished also. I'm very relieved, and I think I will be feeling almost normal here in the next few days.

Facts

I can't decide if I making this whole experience seem better or worse than it actually is. In the interest of fair reporting, here are the facts:

-My black eye is looking much better.
-My stomach hurts nonstop. Can't decide if that's because of what Dr P is having me take to straighten it out, or if it's just stress.
-Nick is having a hard time leaving me home alone, so he's way behind on his hours at work.
-If I get stressed at all, I see little flashes of light everywhere.
-I still have a hard time communicating. I forget words and can't translate feelings into words. I also cannot make decisions to save my life right now. I guess that's because of the concussion.
-So many people are praying for us. If you are among them, we are forever grateful. And it is helping!
-We are looking for a ranch style home to move to as soon as our landlord finds someone who wants our townhouse. Less stairs=safer living for me and the girls.
-Nick is going to begin working from home as soon as we can work it out.
-Things will get better.

Just because it looks fun...

Homekeeping Meme

Aprons - Y/N? If yes, what does your favorite look like? Not so far, but someday I might.

Baking - Favorite thing to bake: Eh. Baking is a lot of work right now. I'm good at gluten-free mixes!

Clothesline - Y/N? No, but that sounds nice.

Donuts - Have you ever made them? Nope. Sounds like a stomach ache!

Every day - One homemaking thing you do every day: A load of dishes

Freezer - Do you have a separate deep freeze? Not yet. Someday.

Garbage Disposal - Y/N? Yes.

Handbook - The internet

Ironing - I literally do not remember the last time. We have a clothes steamer, or we throw it in the dryer for a few minutes. We have Nick's shirts laundered occasionally.

Junk Drawer - Y/N? Alas, a necessary evil.

Kitchen - Color and decorating scheme? White with oak cabinets. Not my choice...yet.

Love - What is your favorite part of homemaking? Feeding my family healthy food that makes them strong. And organizing closets. And doing laundry. I really do enjoy those for some reason.

Mop - Y/N? Yes, but not often enough.

Nylons - Only if I hafta...or if it's too cold to wear the skirt I want to wear.

Oven - Do you use the window or open the door to check? Open the door. I don't have a window.

Pizza - What do you put on yours? Pizza is a thing of the past around our house right now.

Quiet - Reading, internet

Recipe card box - Y/N? What does it look like? Yes, it's a black plastic note card box from Walmart.

Style of house - What is the style of your house? Townhouse

Tablecloths and napkins - Y/N? Don't have any tablecloths I like. Napkins - we sometimes do cloth for company, paper for everyday.

Under the kitchen sink - Organized or toxic wasteland? Not bad. Child-proofed!

Vacuum - Preferably twice a week.

Wash - How many loads of laundry do you do per week? 5 or 6?

X's - Do you keep a list of things to do that you cross off? Once the list gets so long that it's making my head spin, yes.

Yard - Y/N? Who does what? Once we have a lawn, Nick will do the mowing. I do the flowers/gardening.

Zzz's - What is your last homemaking task before going to bed? Start the dishwasher/pick up the living room.

Wow. I'm not as domestic as I thought I was!

Recovering

What a week this has been. When I had the seizure on Sunday, I was in our kitchen. I fell and hit the floor. Hard. I'm nursing a nice black eye and chin, as well as a black and blue right knee and hip. My tongue is also bruised and swollen. Five days later, I can finally eat without pain and I don't slur when I talk. I'm able to put makeup on my face to tone down the purple discoloration, but it is still very visible. This was just a tough experience all around.

We went to see Dr. P today. It was a rather somber visit. To make a long story short, my digestion gets all out of whack very easily. It always has. Any small amount of stress and I just basically quit digesting. It has been off for quite a while at this point...maybe a couple years since I really felt great. The wormwood I was on was to try to fix this, but instead it overwhelmed my system and triggered a seizure.

Events I have been through in the past three years without having a seizure:
-My own wedding and most of the planning of it (my last seizure was 3 months before our wedding, when I was in the airport flying back to Tulsa alone to visit Nick. I had gotten up at 4am.)
-FOUR moves, one of them being out of my parent's house for the last time
-Our honeymoon in Cancun
-My pregnancy with Hannah
-My c-section with Hannah
-My pregnancy with Audrey that started when Hannah was 8 months old
-My homebirth with Audrey
-This past summer, with landlord issues, a homebirth, and a move 4 days postpartum all at once

Any one of those could/should have triggered a seizure, seeing as how they are usually brought on by stress and lack of sleep. At this point, each one of those events is an extra measure of confidence.

So, based on all that, our plan is for Nick to begin working from home starting immediately. Thankfully, he works for my parents. He can do that. As soon as our landlord can re-rent our townhouse, we are going to move to a ranch-style house that will require very little going up and down stairs, just to be safe. And, most importantly, I'm on a new regimen to finally get my digestion under control. We've looked into medication some, but I'm not ready to quit breastfeeding, and Audrey getting that medication in her system can even cause learning disabilities. No thanks! Plus, what we're doing seems to be working well except for this little blip...

I most likely have a concussion, so if I'm a little spacey over the next few weeks, don't be weirded out. :) I feel a little like I have static in my head, but I'm looking forward to going back to my normal schedule as I'm able. I'm very grateful that any damage I have is temporary, and my babies are safe.

If you read all this, thanks for your concern and prayers for me and us.

Upon further thought

I don't see any way that seizure could have been caused by anything but the wormwood. I have spent most of the evening doing research. EVERYBODY says that is a problem. Several things point to it:
-I have never before had a seizure:
a.in the evening
b.while NOT on my period
c.without being sleep-deprived
d.without eating junk or not eating often enough
e.while not in the middle of a major life change (going to school, etc.)
-This seizure seems to have been stronger than the ones in the past. I actually broke blood vessels in my face during it. That has never happened.
-I had just increased my dose of the wormwood on Saturday, from 1-2/day to 3/day.
-I also had a little bit of sage in a meatloaf I made for dinner that night. The reading I did today says people with seizure disorders should avoid sage altogether.
-I have had two completely healthy pregnancies. Pregnancy is notorious for bringing on seizures in people susceptible. I didn't have one.
-I had JUST taken my pills when it happened, including the one in question.

It's just too weird. I'm going to see Dr. P on Saturday. We'll talk with him and see if he agrees. Based on the fact that it's been 3 years since the last one, and this didn't line up with the rest, it currently doesn't make sense to us for me to go on medication and endure the side effects and the cost.

We are still thinking that moving to a single-floor living situation would be more ideal and provide a little more safety, just in case. However, breaking our lease comes with another host of problems. Anybody want to take over our lease? $830 a month...it's a nice place!

We're very encouraged tonight, Nick and I. It still will be maybe a couple weeks before I don't look like I was beaten. It's pretty bad, folks. But, if we have just learned a little more about what will keep me and my family safe, it'll be okay.

Update

So, I'm feeling a little better physically today. My mouth is starting to heal up. Every time I have one of these I bite my tongue pretty badly and it swells up and makes it hard to talk or even eat. I found an article online that said that a supplement I was taking can lower the seizure threshold. That makes me wonder.... Every time before, there has been an easily identifiable reason for the seizure. Worth looking into. Even though it's been 10 years since I was on meds, it appears that the same ones are still what is widely recommended, especially while breastfeeding, because there has been time to test them and insure their safety. Yeah. Don't like that so much. Those side effects are NASTY.

For right now, I'm just trying to concentrate on getting well, and we are spending our days at my parents' house so I don't have to be alone with the girls at home. Possiblities we are looking at include medication, finding a house or at least a property with two houses to share with my parents so they are close by to help, just us moving so we will no longer have a long steep flight of stairs, Nick working from home, and others. BUT! Maybe this was just a freak thing because of that wormwood I was taking for an intestinal problem, who knows? How can we know?

The worst part is the unanswered questions...

Sometimes life is tough...

Last night I had another seizure. This is the 6th one since I was 14 years old. This has been a long road, but to make a long story short, I was on medication for a while, had a hard time tolerating the side effects, found Dr. P and began treating it nutritionally, had success unless I cheated on the diet, and now I've had another seizure even when I'm following the diet. This is a major problem because it means I will probably have to go back to using medication to control them. I cannot, obviously, be having seizures when I'm home alone taking care of children. There is a whole host of complications involved with medication and breastfeeding, and particularly getting pregnant and having more children, which we want. I know God has a purpose, but honestly, right now I'm devastated. I thought I had found something that works without the added problems.

I fell on the kitchen floor and banged my cheek bone and chin up pretty badly, and I look like somebody hit me. I also bit up my tongue and all my muscles are sore. I'm really hurting. Please pray for strength and wisdom for us in this time.

This is a pretty good one...

You know the Bible 100%!

 

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

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