Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Your Mothering Style

Some days, (yesterday, as an example) my own expectations for myself completely overwhelm me and make for a miserable day for me and the kids.

I was thinking about this, this morning. I am one of the few people I know who actually thinks their parents did a pretty great job raising them. Of course they had faults, but they did a great job. The issue arises from the fact that my personality type is completely opposite of my mother's. So, I think she did a great job, but because our personalities are so different, there's no way I will ever run my household exactly the same way. I would go nuts. But that is still the ideal in my mind. Anybody else deal with this?

I've had kids for three years (very short, but it feels long), and I still don't know what I want my household to look like day-to-day.

Organized? Spontaneous? Structured? Free-flowing? Outside work? No outside work? Tone? Schedule? Housekeeping style?

Some days I think I have this figured out, and then on others I question it all...


  1. Why is it that we had to move away?

    These days, I am mirroring your thoughts quite a bit.

    Right now, for us, after our latest dietary issues, I'm just rejoicing in being able to sit and watch my children play Candyland without killing each other. ;)

    I'm going to have to learn to loosen up a bit if we get this thing down!

    Gosh, I miss you!

  2. In a way I think it's a good thing we question our selves and our parenting styles because then we give ourselves room to grow and change and better our selves. If we just sat around thinking we were the perfect parents and ran the perfect households all the time we could never be better moms, wives, and "house hold runners" you know what I mean.

  3. The truth is Sara, once you get it all figured out the logistics all change. They get older, there are more of them (for some of us : )) new homes, new jobs, new schedules.

    It is best to work on defining your ideals and I am willing to bet you already have. The details fall into place then because they aren't the big rocks anyway. Work on a rhythm, connect with the babies, love your husband. Do your best. The rest will work itself out.
    The biggest anxiety comes from assuming there IS a right way and you aren't doing it. There isn't and you are doing a great job.