Showing posts with label ponderings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ponderings. Show all posts
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Contentment and Fairness
As parents, one of the pressures we often feel is to make everything "fair." I loved this post this morning. If I treated my two children exactly the same, one of them would run the household and the other would wilt under the pressure. It would never work...
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thoughts on Democracy
Came across this post today, where she took the time to type out a lengthy passage of C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters - one of my favorites. If you take the time to read it, I think you'll be struck, as I was, of how well Lewis described our current social and political situation. Lewis had an incredible ability to see things through to their logical conclusion, and therefore often his work seems prophetic - in the sense that he described something the way it would become, 60-80 years before it happened.
*Edited after I thought of a better way to explain what I mean - someday I'll learn to edit BEFORE posting...
I don't think anyone here would argue that not all ideas are equal. Some ideas are good, some are bad. Although all human life has intrinsic value, that does not mean every person's ideas are good ones. Therein lies a danger in Democracy. If we all have to be equal, no one can be outstanding. If no one is outstanding, what do the rest of us have to reach for, to aspire to? Who can be a hero? Other people's success does not threaten my worth - my worth is founded in what God says about me, not in my accomplishments or in comparing myself.
It's not just the U.S. that is heading this way, either. It seems like the world as a whole wants to cut down the successful ones - that's kind of the whole premise behind socialism/communism and there are so many countries governing with those principles. Of course, heading back into the feudal system isn't a good goal either. It's definitely a balancing act. I'm rambling now, but...thoughts about this?
*Edited after I thought of a better way to explain what I mean - someday I'll learn to edit BEFORE posting...
I don't think anyone here would argue that not all ideas are equal. Some ideas are good, some are bad. Although all human life has intrinsic value, that does not mean every person's ideas are good ones. Therein lies a danger in Democracy. If we all have to be equal, no one can be outstanding. If no one is outstanding, what do the rest of us have to reach for, to aspire to? Who can be a hero? Other people's success does not threaten my worth - my worth is founded in what God says about me, not in my accomplishments or in comparing myself.
It's not just the U.S. that is heading this way, either. It seems like the world as a whole wants to cut down the successful ones - that's kind of the whole premise behind socialism/communism and there are so many countries governing with those principles. Of course, heading back into the feudal system isn't a good goal either. It's definitely a balancing act. I'm rambling now, but...thoughts about this?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The Importance of Our Job as Mothers
"Children are a public trust - Now, that work which is of most importance to society is the bringing-up and instruction of the children - in the school, certainly, but far more in the home, because it is more that anything else the home influences brought to bear upon the child that determine the character and career of the future man or woman. It is a great thing to be a parent: there is no promotion, no dignity, to compare with it."
-Charlotte Mason, "Home Education, Vol. 1" p. 1
It is often difficult, especially for those of us who stay at home with our kids, to feel purposeful, needed, useful as a mother. I'm not sure why this is, because it seems that even two generations ago it was not the case. But I have already established here in the past that I will make no impact larger than the one I make on my own children, my own family. So what if my training in music (or your training in...fill in the blank) is intended not to fill my own heart, or change the world as a whole, but ultimately to make an eternal impact on my own children and our home life? What if I create an atmosphere in my home where my children learn to live lives of worship? How much more impact will children who live lives of worship make, more than the person for whom I can facilitate a few minutes of encounter with God during a worship service (not to discount that, but obviously the impact will be less). What if this applies to all of our trades that we learned B.C. (before children)? Education, music, healthcare, business - whatever we did can be passed as a strength to our children through our willingness to give them those gifts...
Just something I'm thinking about...
-Charlotte Mason, "Home Education, Vol. 1" p. 1
It is often difficult, especially for those of us who stay at home with our kids, to feel purposeful, needed, useful as a mother. I'm not sure why this is, because it seems that even two generations ago it was not the case. But I have already established here in the past that I will make no impact larger than the one I make on my own children, my own family. So what if my training in music (or your training in...fill in the blank) is intended not to fill my own heart, or change the world as a whole, but ultimately to make an eternal impact on my own children and our home life? What if I create an atmosphere in my home where my children learn to live lives of worship? How much more impact will children who live lives of worship make, more than the person for whom I can facilitate a few minutes of encounter with God during a worship service (not to discount that, but obviously the impact will be less). What if this applies to all of our trades that we learned B.C. (before children)? Education, music, healthcare, business - whatever we did can be passed as a strength to our children through our willingness to give them those gifts...
Just something I'm thinking about...
Friday, August 8, 2008
On "The Shack"
Glenn posted a blog that perfectly expresses my feelings about this book, even down to his hesitation to say anything. This is a book I will be skipping. I value too deeply the Holiness of God, the Biblical portrayal of the Trinity, the Church, Biblical submission, and many other ideas, to read something that may confuse those in my own mind, just for a book that makes me "feel" close to God. It's not about how close to God I feel!
I think it's terribly important that we keep our beliefs straight in our own minds, and allow God to teach us things directly from His Word. I hope this doesn't come across too harsh, but especially if you aren't reading your Bible every day, you have no business gleaning theology or comfort from a novel.
So there ya go. Done with the soapbox.
I think it's terribly important that we keep our beliefs straight in our own minds, and allow God to teach us things directly from His Word. I hope this doesn't come across too harsh, but especially if you aren't reading your Bible every day, you have no business gleaning theology or comfort from a novel.
So there ya go. Done with the soapbox.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Grocery Shopping and Contentment
My life is very different from this blogger's, and therefore we do not always agree. But, I love her post today. This is how I am trying to approach our grocery shopping now. You can feel the place of peace and trust that she speaks from, even as you read her words.
She touches on something I've been pondering as I slowly read John Bevere's "Drawing Near." Many times when we are unhappy or restless, what we're craving is intimacy with God. But instead of seeking God for our fulfillment, it's easy to become disappointed with God in some way, and sometimes it's hard to believe we will find what we need there, or maybe we just don't want to slow down enough to spend the time. So instead, we fill our spirits with spiritual "junk food," and eat, or shop, or watch tv, or read away the desire. We've filled ourselves up, but it doesn't satisfy.
When Nick and I went away overnight, we had bought tickets to see a movie in a few minutes, but I was starving. We walked several blocks downtown, trying to find something relatively cheap that would be gluten-free. After having no luck, I settled on Taco Bell, because there are a couple of menu items with some protein that I know to be gluten free. I'm not used to eating that kind of food anymore, and as I ate it, I could totally sense that it was filling my stomach, but not nourishing me. I'm so used to nourishing food that I could tell the difference!
Being a mom is hard. Sometimes I'm tempted to do whatever it takes to survive. But I don't want to just survive - I want to thrive! I wonder if life will always be a struggle because I refuse to resign myself to "good enough." But I can't bring myself to believe that good enough, "junk food," is okay for us.
I was challenged by an email I got yesterday from a mom looking to join our mom's group. She said she was, "looking to get connected with other young moms in the area who are walking with the Lord in an intimate way and looking for other women to share life with." A simple statement, and yet it communicates so much. She doesn't just want to be with other women, she wants real deep connection with Godly women who will encourage her in her walk with God. Oh, that we can be that for each other!
What do you ladies think about this?
She touches on something I've been pondering as I slowly read John Bevere's "Drawing Near." Many times when we are unhappy or restless, what we're craving is intimacy with God. But instead of seeking God for our fulfillment, it's easy to become disappointed with God in some way, and sometimes it's hard to believe we will find what we need there, or maybe we just don't want to slow down enough to spend the time. So instead, we fill our spirits with spiritual "junk food," and eat, or shop, or watch tv, or read away the desire. We've filled ourselves up, but it doesn't satisfy.
When Nick and I went away overnight, we had bought tickets to see a movie in a few minutes, but I was starving. We walked several blocks downtown, trying to find something relatively cheap that would be gluten-free. After having no luck, I settled on Taco Bell, because there are a couple of menu items with some protein that I know to be gluten free. I'm not used to eating that kind of food anymore, and as I ate it, I could totally sense that it was filling my stomach, but not nourishing me. I'm so used to nourishing food that I could tell the difference!
Being a mom is hard. Sometimes I'm tempted to do whatever it takes to survive. But I don't want to just survive - I want to thrive! I wonder if life will always be a struggle because I refuse to resign myself to "good enough." But I can't bring myself to believe that good enough, "junk food," is okay for us.
I was challenged by an email I got yesterday from a mom looking to join our mom's group. She said she was, "looking to get connected with other young moms in the area who are walking with the Lord in an intimate way and looking for other women to share life with." A simple statement, and yet it communicates so much. She doesn't just want to be with other women, she wants real deep connection with Godly women who will encourage her in her walk with God. Oh, that we can be that for each other!
What do you ladies think about this?
Thursday, June 12, 2008
A worthy life
I'm thinking about this passage this afternoon:
"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."
Then he defines what a worthy life is:
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." (Eph 4:1-3)
What struck me about this passage is what's NOT there. Nothing about stewardship (keeping my house clean constantly), nothing about financial success (being able to buy nice things for my kids or even to be able to give thousands to church), nothing about anything related to achievement at all. Be humble, patient, loving and peaceful.
Isn't it funny how what God really asks of us is simultaneously so much easier and so much harder than what we expect?
"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."
Then he defines what a worthy life is:
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." (Eph 4:1-3)
What struck me about this passage is what's NOT there. Nothing about stewardship (keeping my house clean constantly), nothing about financial success (being able to buy nice things for my kids or even to be able to give thousands to church), nothing about anything related to achievement at all. Be humble, patient, loving and peaceful.
Isn't it funny how what God really asks of us is simultaneously so much easier and so much harder than what we expect?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
On Survival Mode
I hate it, to begin with. Audrey was so sick this weekend, and when people are sick other things don't get done. I seriously woke up this morning to a kitchen full of pretty much every dish we own, dirty.
I have been thinking and praying about this quite a bit lately: why is it that I can't allow myself to just "be"? Much of my value is tied up in what I can accomplish. And I don't think I'm alone in that. Why do dirty dishes have the ability to make us feel like failures?
On Sunday night, Pastor Ross and his wife Aimee spoke at the Young Marrieds group at church. He married us, and we love them so much. They have this tenderness and affection that they constantly express for each other. Yet they are also playful and tease each other constantly. I love to watch them interact. Something that intrigues me is the fact that they often talk about expectations for each other. Aimee apparently doesn't do laundry much. All their clothes are either in the dirty basket or the clean basket. She never puts them away. Many women would feel so ashamed of that, and for their husband to tease about that, especially in public, would embarrass them deeply. He says about that, "I didn't marry her to do my laundry. I married her for her character, and because she's who I want my kids to be like." And he genuinely means it! And she just laughs and smiles.
Obviously they need to teach their kids to do laundry, and they talk about that. But the point is laundry is a small thing, not a big thing. Most of the things we get all tied up about are small things. Not having too many expectations for each other in our relationships is a topic for another day, and equally important. But I wonder, how can we avoid having too many expectations for ourselves?! How is she able to laugh about that? They're supposed to talk more next week, and hopefully I can get her to talk about that.
I have noticed recently that if the tone in our house is not light and playful during the day, it's usually either because I have expectations for myself that I'm not meeting, or I have expectations for Nick that he's not meeting. Yuck. I don't want to live that way!
It seems like much of life, especially with young children, is just surviving. They are unpredictable. Your best plans don't work. I hate survival mode because it makes me feel like I haven't accomplished anything of value. I don't want to make excuses for sloppy living though. How do you know the difference between "doing your best" and just plain being lazy?
I know this post isn't very well organized, but hopefully you'll get my meaning. I would love to hear everybody's thoughts, especially the "more experienced" voices here...Leslie? Kim? Jana? Anybody? :)
I have been thinking and praying about this quite a bit lately: why is it that I can't allow myself to just "be"? Much of my value is tied up in what I can accomplish. And I don't think I'm alone in that. Why do dirty dishes have the ability to make us feel like failures?
On Sunday night, Pastor Ross and his wife Aimee spoke at the Young Marrieds group at church. He married us, and we love them so much. They have this tenderness and affection that they constantly express for each other. Yet they are also playful and tease each other constantly. I love to watch them interact. Something that intrigues me is the fact that they often talk about expectations for each other. Aimee apparently doesn't do laundry much. All their clothes are either in the dirty basket or the clean basket. She never puts them away. Many women would feel so ashamed of that, and for their husband to tease about that, especially in public, would embarrass them deeply. He says about that, "I didn't marry her to do my laundry. I married her for her character, and because she's who I want my kids to be like." And he genuinely means it! And she just laughs and smiles.
Obviously they need to teach their kids to do laundry, and they talk about that. But the point is laundry is a small thing, not a big thing. Most of the things we get all tied up about are small things. Not having too many expectations for each other in our relationships is a topic for another day, and equally important. But I wonder, how can we avoid having too many expectations for ourselves?! How is she able to laugh about that? They're supposed to talk more next week, and hopefully I can get her to talk about that.
I have noticed recently that if the tone in our house is not light and playful during the day, it's usually either because I have expectations for myself that I'm not meeting, or I have expectations for Nick that he's not meeting. Yuck. I don't want to live that way!
It seems like much of life, especially with young children, is just surviving. They are unpredictable. Your best plans don't work. I hate survival mode because it makes me feel like I haven't accomplished anything of value. I don't want to make excuses for sloppy living though. How do you know the difference between "doing your best" and just plain being lazy?
I know this post isn't very well organized, but hopefully you'll get my meaning. I would love to hear everybody's thoughts, especially the "more experienced" voices here...Leslie? Kim? Jana? Anybody? :)
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
A couple of tangents...
1. I got a telemarketing call on the Maeve phone today, a guy wanting to design and market a website for us. I decided to go along with the call...after all, he's trying to do the same thing we're trying to do when think about it. I ended up telling him that we would love for him to design us a website, except that we are starting our business without debt and therefore have no money to pay for such a thing yet.
He stuttered a little, and said, "Excuse me? Without DEBT?!?" As if he wasn't sure he heard me right.
"Yes."
"How would you do that?"
"Well, we have alternate sources of income right now, and we have decided to put most of our profit back into the business in order to grow it, rather than taking out loans."
Since we've been Dave Ramsey followers for over a year now, I guess I forget what a novel idea this really is. Sad day...people cannot imagine being able to start a business without loans...
2. I have been thinking about time a lot lately. In the working world I was in for several years before kids, time=money. Efficiency is highly valued. Because my brain works very quickly, I was able to provide that efficiency, and was always praised for it. Kids do not value efficiency. They only want to know how important they are to their parents. They do not (at least at this age) care if they are on time or late, whether they accomplish much or little in a day, or even how they are perceived by other people. They only want to know their value.
If I'm not careful, I find myself constantly pushing or pulling against time. Things come too quickly or not quickly enough. There is no sense of rest, of trust. Even daily tasks become things to rush through, trying to get to the next thing. For what? Whose schedule am I on? Who am I trying to impress? Certainly not my kids. Nick doesn't ask that of me. So I can only conclude that I'm trying to prove my own worth, my own ability to do EVERYTHING.
Here's how this works out in my life: getting frustrated with Hannah for dawdling on her walk to the car because we're late? Not worth it. Working to have a spotless house when I haven't slept well the night before and I have an opportunity for a nap? Silly. I have small hearts I must protect, and I cannot do that on too little sleep. Committing myself to extra activities, even good ones, when I know my family has not had enough quality or quantity time together? Not gonna do it.
I'm becoming very purposeful about my time. That doesn't mean I'm scheduled to the minute and I can't stop for the important things. That means I slow down enough to see what's important.
Alright. Making myself some lunch, putting away groceries, and I'm off to take a nap.
He stuttered a little, and said, "Excuse me? Without DEBT?!?" As if he wasn't sure he heard me right.
"Yes."
"How would you do that?"
"Well, we have alternate sources of income right now, and we have decided to put most of our profit back into the business in order to grow it, rather than taking out loans."
Since we've been Dave Ramsey followers for over a year now, I guess I forget what a novel idea this really is. Sad day...people cannot imagine being able to start a business without loans...
2. I have been thinking about time a lot lately. In the working world I was in for several years before kids, time=money. Efficiency is highly valued. Because my brain works very quickly, I was able to provide that efficiency, and was always praised for it. Kids do not value efficiency. They only want to know how important they are to their parents. They do not (at least at this age) care if they are on time or late, whether they accomplish much or little in a day, or even how they are perceived by other people. They only want to know their value.
If I'm not careful, I find myself constantly pushing or pulling against time. Things come too quickly or not quickly enough. There is no sense of rest, of trust. Even daily tasks become things to rush through, trying to get to the next thing. For what? Whose schedule am I on? Who am I trying to impress? Certainly not my kids. Nick doesn't ask that of me. So I can only conclude that I'm trying to prove my own worth, my own ability to do EVERYTHING.
Here's how this works out in my life: getting frustrated with Hannah for dawdling on her walk to the car because we're late? Not worth it. Working to have a spotless house when I haven't slept well the night before and I have an opportunity for a nap? Silly. I have small hearts I must protect, and I cannot do that on too little sleep. Committing myself to extra activities, even good ones, when I know my family has not had enough quality or quantity time together? Not gonna do it.
I'm becoming very purposeful about my time. That doesn't mean I'm scheduled to the minute and I can't stop for the important things. That means I slow down enough to see what's important.
Alright. Making myself some lunch, putting away groceries, and I'm off to take a nap.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Faith
I've been meditating on the idea of faith lately...
The first event that brought this to my mind was the wedding Friday night. I was struck by the idea that people who marry each other do so without having any idea what they're promising. This couple in particular KNOWS certain parts of their life together may be hard. But, there are other parts that become hard in the course of life, and no one can see them coming. Watching them eagerly promise to try to out-serve one another for the rest of their lives was so striking to me. Do they have any idea what they're getting themselves into? No, and that's the best part about it!
While it's temping for some to call this naiveté, Jesus called it childlike faith - the kind that doesn't understand it all, but follows anyway. Marriage can only be done (if you really promise the rest of your life and intend to keep your promise) by faith.
Event number two is the current situation with my brother. If I may be very honest for a moment, my family is currently trying to help my brother out of a lifestyle of alcoholism, bitterness and anger. It is extremely painful. We love him! We want him to be happy and healthy. But people can always hurt most the people that love them the most. And he has. As I put my little girls to bed tonight, I can't help but look at their innocent faces and wonder... Could they someday reject Nick and I? Will they always love singing worship songs with open hearts and dancing? My brother is an angry man now, but once he was a cuddly, playful, fun little boy.
The only answer I have for this is faith - by faith we live each day, believing that God will work His purposes in the earth and that He will give us the strength for whatever life may bring. 1 Tim 1:4 says God's work is by faith. That means it is not by effort, as if I could be a perfect mom and therefore prevent my children from rebelling someday. It is not by fear, as if we should just not have children because they may hurt us one day. Nor is it by pride, saying "my children would never do something like that." The fact is, they could, just like all of us are free to make stupid decisions. Faith is the only answer. We do what we can and believe God for the outcome and the strength.
From an essay by C.S. Lewis called Religion: Reality or Substitute?:
"If we wish to be rational, not now and then, but constantly, we must pray for the gift of Faith, for the power to go on believing not in the teeth of reason but in the teeth of lust and terror and jealousy and boredom and indifference that which reason, authority, or experience, or all three, have once delivered to us for truth. And the answer to that prayer will, perhaps, surprise us when it comes. For I am not sure, after all, whether one of the causes of our weak faith is not a secret wish that our faith should NOT be very strong. Is there some reservation in our minds? Some fear of what it might be like if our religion became QUITE real? I hope not. God help us all, and forgive us."
The first event that brought this to my mind was the wedding Friday night. I was struck by the idea that people who marry each other do so without having any idea what they're promising. This couple in particular KNOWS certain parts of their life together may be hard. But, there are other parts that become hard in the course of life, and no one can see them coming. Watching them eagerly promise to try to out-serve one another for the rest of their lives was so striking to me. Do they have any idea what they're getting themselves into? No, and that's the best part about it!
While it's temping for some to call this naiveté, Jesus called it childlike faith - the kind that doesn't understand it all, but follows anyway. Marriage can only be done (if you really promise the rest of your life and intend to keep your promise) by faith.
Event number two is the current situation with my brother. If I may be very honest for a moment, my family is currently trying to help my brother out of a lifestyle of alcoholism, bitterness and anger. It is extremely painful. We love him! We want him to be happy and healthy. But people can always hurt most the people that love them the most. And he has. As I put my little girls to bed tonight, I can't help but look at their innocent faces and wonder... Could they someday reject Nick and I? Will they always love singing worship songs with open hearts and dancing? My brother is an angry man now, but once he was a cuddly, playful, fun little boy.
The only answer I have for this is faith - by faith we live each day, believing that God will work His purposes in the earth and that He will give us the strength for whatever life may bring. 1 Tim 1:4 says God's work is by faith. That means it is not by effort, as if I could be a perfect mom and therefore prevent my children from rebelling someday. It is not by fear, as if we should just not have children because they may hurt us one day. Nor is it by pride, saying "my children would never do something like that." The fact is, they could, just like all of us are free to make stupid decisions. Faith is the only answer. We do what we can and believe God for the outcome and the strength.
From an essay by C.S. Lewis called Religion: Reality or Substitute?:
"If we wish to be rational, not now and then, but constantly, we must pray for the gift of Faith, for the power to go on believing not in the teeth of reason but in the teeth of lust and terror and jealousy and boredom and indifference that which reason, authority, or experience, or all three, have once delivered to us for truth. And the answer to that prayer will, perhaps, surprise us when it comes. For I am not sure, after all, whether one of the causes of our weak faith is not a secret wish that our faith should NOT be very strong. Is there some reservation in our minds? Some fear of what it might be like if our religion became QUITE real? I hope not. God help us all, and forgive us."
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Question Authority
Kim has written yet another very insightful post. Some of the reading I have been doing lately has pointed to the value of being under authority, and I'm been meditating on that. We have many authority figures in our lives, and being under their authority brings certain protection in each case. For example, submitting to police officers (the law) brings physical safety as we don't drive too fast. This first one is usually not too hard for people to swallow. In addition (and maybe harder), submitting to the pastor and elders of your church as your spiritual authority brings protection spiritually (and keeps you from doing stupid things!). Submitting to your husband as the head of your home brings personal protection - protection from having ungodly attitudes, from mean people, from having to carry the burden of a role that is not ours to carry as women.
God doesn't ask us to mindlessly, brainlessly, and without question follow every word of those in authority. In fact Paul asked the churches to examine every word they were taught and make sure it lines up with Scripture. We as wives have input that our husbands desperately need, if they are to become all that God has for them (they also have similar input for us!). We see things they don't see sometimes. But questioning authority must always be done with respect and honor for the position of the one in authority.
Alright. I'm done with the soapbox for today. Would anyone else like to borrow it?
God doesn't ask us to mindlessly, brainlessly, and without question follow every word of those in authority. In fact Paul asked the churches to examine every word they were taught and make sure it lines up with Scripture. We as wives have input that our husbands desperately need, if they are to become all that God has for them (they also have similar input for us!). We see things they don't see sometimes. But questioning authority must always be done with respect and honor for the position of the one in authority.
Alright. I'm done with the soapbox for today. Would anyone else like to borrow it?
Friday, March 28, 2008
Nick and I were talking last night following an appt with Dr P. Dr P wants me to teach Nick how to do more things around the house to take some more stress off of me. Nick really wants to help, but he has some concerns. It will take some time for us to work out what this means for us. He already helps, especially with the girls, a whole lot.
In the midst of that conversation, I said something that surprised me. I told Nick, “I like my work. I don’t want you to do it all, even if you could.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, an internal dialogue started. I like my work? Doing dishes, laundry, picking up toys, feeding small children? I like vacuuming, dusting, continually wiping down tables and counters? I never used to like those things.
During my Dr P appointment last night, we were talking about what it takes to be an adult, the incredible amount of things that are required of us, including sometimes giving up things we love for the good of our family. He talked about how what is required of us goes far beyond our own ability to sacrifice, and into the territory where God must give us the strength to do it. He made a remark about what I’d given up to be a mom (meaning worship ministry). I gotta say, though it feels wrong in some ways, it also felt so good to have someone acknowledge that. I miss worship ministry. I miss it deeply. I don’t yet understand the direction of my life, because I felt certain that God had led me there, and then just as easily led me away. I am doing the right thing being home with my children, but it still hurts sometimes…oftentimes…
But I like my work? I am finding there is a satisfaction that comes when you faithfully do what God has asked of you, whether the task itself brings deep joy or not. The task of worship leading brings me joy. Dishes do not. But the fact that I faithfully do the dishes because it is part of what God has asked of me, does bring me some joy. I never realized that before. Helping my children get dressed and making things for them to eat is satisfying to me. Since when? I have no idea.
I do get tired. I do get disappointed. I do need help and breaks and most importantly God. But, I like my work. Amazing.
In the midst of that conversation, I said something that surprised me. I told Nick, “I like my work. I don’t want you to do it all, even if you could.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, an internal dialogue started. I like my work? Doing dishes, laundry, picking up toys, feeding small children? I like vacuuming, dusting, continually wiping down tables and counters? I never used to like those things.
During my Dr P appointment last night, we were talking about what it takes to be an adult, the incredible amount of things that are required of us, including sometimes giving up things we love for the good of our family. He talked about how what is required of us goes far beyond our own ability to sacrifice, and into the territory where God must give us the strength to do it. He made a remark about what I’d given up to be a mom (meaning worship ministry). I gotta say, though it feels wrong in some ways, it also felt so good to have someone acknowledge that. I miss worship ministry. I miss it deeply. I don’t yet understand the direction of my life, because I felt certain that God had led me there, and then just as easily led me away. I am doing the right thing being home with my children, but it still hurts sometimes…oftentimes…
But I like my work? I am finding there is a satisfaction that comes when you faithfully do what God has asked of you, whether the task itself brings deep joy or not. The task of worship leading brings me joy. Dishes do not. But the fact that I faithfully do the dishes because it is part of what God has asked of me, does bring me some joy. I never realized that before. Helping my children get dressed and making things for them to eat is satisfying to me. Since when? I have no idea.
I do get tired. I do get disappointed. I do need help and breaks and most importantly God. But, I like my work. Amazing.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Honoring Our Children
I've been reading John Bevere's book Honor's Reward this week. Incidentally, Liz T and I were at the filming of one of John's curriculum DVDs for this book. That was pretty cool. I feel like I always say this, but seriously, this message could change your life.
He sets up from Scripture the fact that we are commanded by God to honor those in authority over us, those who are our peers, and those who are under our authority. Then, he spends the rest of the book explaining how to walk that out and telling incredible stories about how God has blessed him, his family, and those he knows that practice this principle.
If you've never read a John Bevere book, it's somewhat like a spiritual journey. The thing about this book that struck me was how pervasive dishonor is in our culture. We're taught to dishonor parents, teachers, political figures, doctors, our children, old people, young people, people who mess up, people who seem too "clean." The list goes on and on. John, in his straightforward way, explains how that goes against what God has asked us to do as Christians and therefore we miss the good life that comes when we live life the way our creator told us best works. (Sorry - hope you can follow that sentence.)
It's a simple concept, really, when you honor somebody they do everything they can for you. So does God, because when you honor people, you're really honoring God. You can't do it in a phony way, because people see right through that, but if you can really honor people from your heart, you recieve blessings. It's a spiritual principle.
Onto honoring our children.... I've been thinking about this. Humans have immortal spirits - they will never die. They will live forever either in Heaven or Hell. So, we all are, in a sense, ageless. Our children are placed by God under our authority to be trained and encouraged as they grow, but their spirits are just a valuable when they are 2 as when they are 45. Therefore, they are worthy of the same respect we would pay a peer. That doesn't mean we are released from our responsibility to them - to care for their needs, to train them in the way they should go, to give them the love and affection they need. I think it clarifies that responsibility all the more! However, we as moms know (and have probably dished out) discipline that honors and discipline that dishonors our children.
I am more convinced than I've ever been that there is no excuse whatsoever for demeaning our children. I've just been through three or four days of constant temper tantrums with Hannah. They were hard. But after understanding this message, and because of the fear of God that is in my heart, I will never treat my children in a dishonoring way again. And if I do, I will ask their forgiveness and God's forgiveness.
Thinking through all of this, I have realized some hard feelings I had toward Hannah that I never realized before. I have put expectations on her that were unfair, and then been upset when she did not fulfill them. I had a long talk with God about this, and my feelings toward her are different right now, today, than I think they've ever been. God can change our hearts - we are only good at putting on fascades that don't hold up under pressure.
This is still new and taking hold in my heart, but I feel like it is lifechanging. I highly recommend you get the book, and begin praying (as I am) for a heart that honors people.
He sets up from Scripture the fact that we are commanded by God to honor those in authority over us, those who are our peers, and those who are under our authority. Then, he spends the rest of the book explaining how to walk that out and telling incredible stories about how God has blessed him, his family, and those he knows that practice this principle.
If you've never read a John Bevere book, it's somewhat like a spiritual journey. The thing about this book that struck me was how pervasive dishonor is in our culture. We're taught to dishonor parents, teachers, political figures, doctors, our children, old people, young people, people who mess up, people who seem too "clean." The list goes on and on. John, in his straightforward way, explains how that goes against what God has asked us to do as Christians and therefore we miss the good life that comes when we live life the way our creator told us best works. (Sorry - hope you can follow that sentence.)
It's a simple concept, really, when you honor somebody they do everything they can for you. So does God, because when you honor people, you're really honoring God. You can't do it in a phony way, because people see right through that, but if you can really honor people from your heart, you recieve blessings. It's a spiritual principle.
Onto honoring our children.... I've been thinking about this. Humans have immortal spirits - they will never die. They will live forever either in Heaven or Hell. So, we all are, in a sense, ageless. Our children are placed by God under our authority to be trained and encouraged as they grow, but their spirits are just a valuable when they are 2 as when they are 45. Therefore, they are worthy of the same respect we would pay a peer. That doesn't mean we are released from our responsibility to them - to care for their needs, to train them in the way they should go, to give them the love and affection they need. I think it clarifies that responsibility all the more! However, we as moms know (and have probably dished out) discipline that honors and discipline that dishonors our children.
I am more convinced than I've ever been that there is no excuse whatsoever for demeaning our children. I've just been through three or four days of constant temper tantrums with Hannah. They were hard. But after understanding this message, and because of the fear of God that is in my heart, I will never treat my children in a dishonoring way again. And if I do, I will ask their forgiveness and God's forgiveness.
Thinking through all of this, I have realized some hard feelings I had toward Hannah that I never realized before. I have put expectations on her that were unfair, and then been upset when she did not fulfill them. I had a long talk with God about this, and my feelings toward her are different right now, today, than I think they've ever been. God can change our hearts - we are only good at putting on fascades that don't hold up under pressure.
This is still new and taking hold in my heart, but I feel like it is lifechanging. I highly recommend you get the book, and begin praying (as I am) for a heart that honors people.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Who I Am In Christ
Years ago, they handed this out at church. I have hung onto it, and I thought I'd share it. Actually, what I do with this is put it inside a big ziplock bag and stick it to the wall of my shower. Then I read it every day.
Sometimes I can't get all the way through it because I become so overwhelmed with the difference between what Christ made me with His death, and what I actually live out. I force myself to finish it anyway. This is truth that will transform us.
This is not an end in itself, it is only the beginning. If we understand that our insecurities and sin have no control over us anymore because of Christ, we are then free to live for the good of others, like Kim's post that I linked to earlier. Insecurity and emotional pain are (usually) a result of forgetting who we are and wallowing in our own sin nature and selfishness. I'm preaching to myself here!
Let's quit that.
Sometimes I can't get all the way through it because I become so overwhelmed with the difference between what Christ made me with His death, and what I actually live out. I force myself to finish it anyway. This is truth that will transform us.
This is not an end in itself, it is only the beginning. If we understand that our insecurities and sin have no control over us anymore because of Christ, we are then free to live for the good of others, like Kim's post that I linked to earlier. Insecurity and emotional pain are (usually) a result of forgetting who we are and wallowing in our own sin nature and selfishness. I'm preaching to myself here!
Let's quit that.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Soul Food
I realized a while back that I had a strange habit:
I would seek God for a little while, and after a while get to a "saturation point." He would start to fill my heart and mind with so many good things that I would get just a little overwhelmed. I wouldn't want to miss anything He had for me, so I would make a strange choice: to stop seeking Him. It was only temporary, and no one but me and God would even notice the difference. I had good intentions with this - I was doing it so that everything could soak in. The problem was, that as soon as I stopped seeking, the "food" stopped. Within a few days I would be so burnt out it was ridiculous. Then I would begin the cycle again, seeking God for refreshment. Sounds fun...be fulfilled, go a few days, and then CRASH...big time. I have done this much of my adult life.
The past few days have been rich with food for my soul. I feel satisfied to the point of being a little overwhelmed. I want more! My thirst for God is not quenched! By the grace of God, I will remember the things I need to remember, and have more to give.
I would seek God for a little while, and after a while get to a "saturation point." He would start to fill my heart and mind with so many good things that I would get just a little overwhelmed. I wouldn't want to miss anything He had for me, so I would make a strange choice: to stop seeking Him. It was only temporary, and no one but me and God would even notice the difference. I had good intentions with this - I was doing it so that everything could soak in. The problem was, that as soon as I stopped seeking, the "food" stopped. Within a few days I would be so burnt out it was ridiculous. Then I would begin the cycle again, seeking God for refreshment. Sounds fun...be fulfilled, go a few days, and then CRASH...big time. I have done this much of my adult life.
The past few days have been rich with food for my soul. I feel satisfied to the point of being a little overwhelmed. I want more! My thirst for God is not quenched! By the grace of God, I will remember the things I need to remember, and have more to give.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Lincoln and Leadership
Long-time friend Sara wrote a great post about a lecture she went to last night on Lincoln and leadership. Sounds like it was a great lecture. I love this kind of thing.
From the comment I left: Nick and I were talking the other day about how there's a shortage of people in the world who really think about important things, and how we want to be people like that and find people like that.
I've heard it said that small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, and great minds discuss ideas.
By the way, to read Sara's post you have to sign up for a Xanga account and sign in. It's free and takes 2 minutes and it's well worth it. :)
From the comment I left: Nick and I were talking the other day about how there's a shortage of people in the world who really think about important things, and how we want to be people like that and find people like that.
I've heard it said that small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, and great minds discuss ideas.
By the way, to read Sara's post you have to sign up for a Xanga account and sign in. It's free and takes 2 minutes and it's well worth it. :)
Thursday, February 14, 2008
How profoundly sad
I will never see this kind of thing the same way ever again...
2 Chron 7:14:
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray
and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from
heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
It's time to humble ourselves, pray, seek the face of God and turn from wickedness! I don't think there's any doubt that our land needs healing. It's often pointed out that this verse is directed at God's people, not at the world. He will heal the land because of His people. We cannot blame the wickedness around us, the worldliness around us. It's up to believers to be the people God called us to be.
2 Chron 7:14:
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray
and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from
heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
It's time to humble ourselves, pray, seek the face of God and turn from wickedness! I don't think there's any doubt that our land needs healing. It's often pointed out that this verse is directed at God's people, not at the world. He will heal the land because of His people. We cannot blame the wickedness around us, the worldliness around us. It's up to believers to be the people God called us to be.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
My Challenge Part 2
I was laying awake last night (after Audrey woke up and cried so pitifully that I went and rocked her in the rocking chair for a little while. I needed to hold her as badly as she needed to be held. I hope I don't regret that tonight.), thinking that I didn't really finish my thought yesterday. I could probably be a decent writer if I wasn't so antsy to publish my thoughts!
Anyway, it is incredibly easy to begin focusing on challenges. However, when you focus on a problem, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger... Sometimes I suddenly realize that I have thought and worried about things related to my health or the health of one of the kids for the better part of the day. That can't be...healthy. :) I suppose it's natural for me to spend a lot of my mental energy trying to find answers. But, let me tell you what happens when I do that: 1, I wipe myself out completely and 2, I still don't find any answers.
For me, answers to my problems come most easily when I am reading or have read my Bible recently, after a restful sleep, or while I'm talking to a trusted friend. Worry never brings solutions. There are occasions when my own will is what needs to be conquered (Example: last night. I was fretting over feeding Hannah because we had stuff to do, and I forced myself to put together a dinner for her to eat while we were out so she didn't have to eat restaurant food and be sick. It worked great, she loved it, and she's not sick today. But it required discipline on my part.) Most of the time though, what I need to do most is focus my attention on God rather than on the problem.
If I'm feeding myself truth on a daily basis, I'm much less likely to get cranky, moody, lonely, anxious, or anything else that makes my challenges in life seem impossible. God never gives us more than we can handle with His help, but in my opinion, He gives us things we can't handle without Him all the time.
An understanding of grace also fits in here somewhere. I am relentless, ruthless with myself by nature. I never realized I was a perfectionist until I couldn't make things perfect anymore...kids will do that to ya. But there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8). Our pastor has been speaking on grace the past few weeks. If I, if we, could really grasp that our condemnation is gone because of Jesus' sacrifice, we wouldn't be judgemental anymore. We wouldn't beat ourselves up if we don't perform to our standards. We would pick ourselves up and give it our all, over and over. There is no such thing as defeat. Again, I haven't yet processed this enough to write it very well. Maybe you'll get it anyway.
Our challenges develop Godly growth in our lives. Have you ever met someone for whom life has been easy? They have never had the discipline in their lives to grow their character. I am grateful for the things in my life that have been hard. I would also never want to do them over again! :) But, the depth, the passion, the reliance on God, and the perseverance they have developed in my soul are priceless to me.
This way of thinking is somewhat new to me. I am developing new habits of thought. I always enjoy hearing your thoughts!
Anyway, it is incredibly easy to begin focusing on challenges. However, when you focus on a problem, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger... Sometimes I suddenly realize that I have thought and worried about things related to my health or the health of one of the kids for the better part of the day. That can't be...healthy. :) I suppose it's natural for me to spend a lot of my mental energy trying to find answers. But, let me tell you what happens when I do that: 1, I wipe myself out completely and 2, I still don't find any answers.
For me, answers to my problems come most easily when I am reading or have read my Bible recently, after a restful sleep, or while I'm talking to a trusted friend. Worry never brings solutions. There are occasions when my own will is what needs to be conquered (Example: last night. I was fretting over feeding Hannah because we had stuff to do, and I forced myself to put together a dinner for her to eat while we were out so she didn't have to eat restaurant food and be sick. It worked great, she loved it, and she's not sick today. But it required discipline on my part.) Most of the time though, what I need to do most is focus my attention on God rather than on the problem.
If I'm feeding myself truth on a daily basis, I'm much less likely to get cranky, moody, lonely, anxious, or anything else that makes my challenges in life seem impossible. God never gives us more than we can handle with His help, but in my opinion, He gives us things we can't handle without Him all the time.
An understanding of grace also fits in here somewhere. I am relentless, ruthless with myself by nature. I never realized I was a perfectionist until I couldn't make things perfect anymore...kids will do that to ya. But there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8). Our pastor has been speaking on grace the past few weeks. If I, if we, could really grasp that our condemnation is gone because of Jesus' sacrifice, we wouldn't be judgemental anymore. We wouldn't beat ourselves up if we don't perform to our standards. We would pick ourselves up and give it our all, over and over. There is no such thing as defeat. Again, I haven't yet processed this enough to write it very well. Maybe you'll get it anyway.
Our challenges develop Godly growth in our lives. Have you ever met someone for whom life has been easy? They have never had the discipline in their lives to grow their character. I am grateful for the things in my life that have been hard. I would also never want to do them over again! :) But, the depth, the passion, the reliance on God, and the perseverance they have developed in my soul are priceless to me.
This way of thinking is somewhat new to me. I am developing new habits of thought. I always enjoy hearing your thoughts!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Insecurities
I left a comment on a friend's blog today. I had a great conversation with another friend today. In different ways, both conversations were about insecurities.
I have been told by several people over the years that I look like I have it all together. "You just have this comforting presence." It's very flattering to be told that, to be sure. However, let me be the first to say I'm insecure. I wonder what people think of me. I rehearse conversations and feel stupid for comments I make, even days later when there's no way anyone but me remembers what I said. I find it very interesting that each one of us seems to believe we are the only one who's afraid of what other people think.
Going back to my pet subject right now - the 7 Habits book. There is a way to break free from all of this. The book says that we should live our lives based on principles. We should have a list of things we believe in, and make all of our decisions in life based on those things. For example, in my life, when I get to the day of my funeral, I would hope that people would say about me, "She put her family first. She had lots of other interests, and accomplished many, many things. But her family was always first."
Example: In order to do this, occasionally I may have to make a decision somebody else doesn't like. We may have to miss something important. I may look flaky (I HATE looking flaky). But what it boils down to, is that I have made decisions based on what I believe. This gives me a tremendous amount of confidence in my decisions. I can know without a doubt that I made the right one, even if somebody else doesn't like it.
I think all of life can be lived this way. I'm a ways from that, but I'm going that direction. What do I believe about marriage? What do I believe about raising children? What do I believe about finances? What do I believe about the way a home should be kept? What do I believe about friendship? What do I believe about ministry? And, what priority does each of those things take? What comes first? We have to do this on a personal level and on a family level, because our priorities need to line up with our spouse's or we will have arguments about that all the time.
Bottom line: when we live based on principles, we don't have to be tossed around by everyone else's opinion. Other people's opinions don't matter all that much, unless they are an authority figure in your life and you've chosen to take their opinions to heart so that you can grow - we all need that as well.
What do you guys think about this?
I have been told by several people over the years that I look like I have it all together. "You just have this comforting presence." It's very flattering to be told that, to be sure. However, let me be the first to say I'm insecure. I wonder what people think of me. I rehearse conversations and feel stupid for comments I make, even days later when there's no way anyone but me remembers what I said. I find it very interesting that each one of us seems to believe we are the only one who's afraid of what other people think.
Going back to my pet subject right now - the 7 Habits book. There is a way to break free from all of this. The book says that we should live our lives based on principles. We should have a list of things we believe in, and make all of our decisions in life based on those things. For example, in my life, when I get to the day of my funeral, I would hope that people would say about me, "She put her family first. She had lots of other interests, and accomplished many, many things. But her family was always first."
Example: In order to do this, occasionally I may have to make a decision somebody else doesn't like. We may have to miss something important. I may look flaky (I HATE looking flaky). But what it boils down to, is that I have made decisions based on what I believe. This gives me a tremendous amount of confidence in my decisions. I can know without a doubt that I made the right one, even if somebody else doesn't like it.
I think all of life can be lived this way. I'm a ways from that, but I'm going that direction. What do I believe about marriage? What do I believe about raising children? What do I believe about finances? What do I believe about the way a home should be kept? What do I believe about friendship? What do I believe about ministry? And, what priority does each of those things take? What comes first? We have to do this on a personal level and on a family level, because our priorities need to line up with our spouse's or we will have arguments about that all the time.
Bottom line: when we live based on principles, we don't have to be tossed around by everyone else's opinion. Other people's opinions don't matter all that much, unless they are an authority figure in your life and you've chosen to take their opinions to heart so that you can grow - we all need that as well.
What do you guys think about this?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
On Being Happy
I have read in multiple places over the years that you can choose to be happy. I supposed it must be true, since so many people said it, but it also seemed rather far-fetched to me. If hard things are going on in your life, how can you be happy anyway?
So! I'm currently reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The very first habit in the book is "Be Proactive." Essentially what this boils down to, is become someone who is truly independent of other people and circumstances. You make the decisions - others don't get to make them for you. This involves what he calls "re-scripting" yourself - changing the patterns you have played out your entire life, and in many cases, the patterns your parents and others taught you to play out. If "A" happens, you have always responded with "B", but what you would really like to do is "C", so you decide to do "C" instead of "B". As humans, we have this ability.
The book goes into detail on this, telling the story of a man in a German concentration camp. He realized during his inprisonment, that the only freedom the Nazis could not take from him, was the freedom to choose his own response. He began to imagine himself speaking to thousands about his experiences in the concentration camp, bascially creating a reality for himself that he had no guarantee would ever happen in his life. However, it helped him survive with his soul intact. And he did get out. And he did speak to thousands.
My point is: if a guy in a concentration camp can do this, so can someone stuck in a job they don't like. Or a mom at home with kids, doing dishes and laundry and wiping noses all day. We can decide - we have that ability.
As I considered this, I realized something. The biggest hurdle keeping me from deciding to be happy, is my sense of "rights." For example, today. Audrey was in bed with me all night because she had fever. Hannah is cranky. My nose is running nonstop. Don't I have a right to be frustrated? Don't I have a right to feel like this day is a waste? Well, maybe. But what would be the purpose? To make it worse for myself? To make myself and the kids MORE miserable? To prove to Nick how hard I worked today and get his sympathy, when he comes home and I'm fried? Sounds like a good time.
Obviously we're human - we're going to get tired. But we all know there's a huge difference between happy-tired and cranky-tired. :)
This is too hard to do in my own strength, but when I feel myself start to get off track, I can stop, take a deep breath, pray, and make my decision. New habits are hard to form, but not impossible. So, this is where I'm at.
So! I'm currently reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The very first habit in the book is "Be Proactive." Essentially what this boils down to, is become someone who is truly independent of other people and circumstances. You make the decisions - others don't get to make them for you. This involves what he calls "re-scripting" yourself - changing the patterns you have played out your entire life, and in many cases, the patterns your parents and others taught you to play out. If "A" happens, you have always responded with "B", but what you would really like to do is "C", so you decide to do "C" instead of "B". As humans, we have this ability.
The book goes into detail on this, telling the story of a man in a German concentration camp. He realized during his inprisonment, that the only freedom the Nazis could not take from him, was the freedom to choose his own response. He began to imagine himself speaking to thousands about his experiences in the concentration camp, bascially creating a reality for himself that he had no guarantee would ever happen in his life. However, it helped him survive with his soul intact. And he did get out. And he did speak to thousands.
My point is: if a guy in a concentration camp can do this, so can someone stuck in a job they don't like. Or a mom at home with kids, doing dishes and laundry and wiping noses all day. We can decide - we have that ability.
As I considered this, I realized something. The biggest hurdle keeping me from deciding to be happy, is my sense of "rights." For example, today. Audrey was in bed with me all night because she had fever. Hannah is cranky. My nose is running nonstop. Don't I have a right to be frustrated? Don't I have a right to feel like this day is a waste? Well, maybe. But what would be the purpose? To make it worse for myself? To make myself and the kids MORE miserable? To prove to Nick how hard I worked today and get his sympathy, when he comes home and I'm fried? Sounds like a good time.
Obviously we're human - we're going to get tired. But we all know there's a huge difference between happy-tired and cranky-tired. :)
This is too hard to do in my own strength, but when I feel myself start to get off track, I can stop, take a deep breath, pray, and make my decision. New habits are hard to form, but not impossible. So, this is where I'm at.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Doing it all
Kim wrote a really good blog today about prioritizing, making tough decisions, and how no mom does absolutely everything. It was a good reminder. We have to focus on what God has asked us to do, and not be threatened by what God has asked other people to do.
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