My Challenge Part 2

I was laying awake last night (after Audrey woke up and cried so pitifully that I went and rocked her in the rocking chair for a little while. I needed to hold her as badly as she needed to be held. I hope I don't regret that tonight.), thinking that I didn't really finish my thought yesterday. I could probably be a decent writer if I wasn't so antsy to publish my thoughts!

Anyway, it is incredibly easy to begin focusing on challenges. However, when you focus on a problem, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger... Sometimes I suddenly realize that I have thought and worried about things related to my health or the health of one of the kids for the better part of the day. That can't be...healthy. :) I suppose it's natural for me to spend a lot of my mental energy trying to find answers. But, let me tell you what happens when I do that: 1, I wipe myself out completely and 2, I still don't find any answers.

For me, answers to my problems come most easily when I am reading or have read my Bible recently, after a restful sleep, or while I'm talking to a trusted friend. Worry never brings solutions. There are occasions when my own will is what needs to be conquered (Example: last night. I was fretting over feeding Hannah because we had stuff to do, and I forced myself to put together a dinner for her to eat while we were out so she didn't have to eat restaurant food and be sick. It worked great, she loved it, and she's not sick today. But it required discipline on my part.) Most of the time though, what I need to do most is focus my attention on God rather than on the problem.

If I'm feeding myself truth on a daily basis, I'm much less likely to get cranky, moody, lonely, anxious, or anything else that makes my challenges in life seem impossible. God never gives us more than we can handle with His help, but in my opinion, He gives us things we can't handle without Him all the time.

An understanding of grace also fits in here somewhere. I am relentless, ruthless with myself by nature. I never realized I was a perfectionist until I couldn't make things perfect anymore...kids will do that to ya. But there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8). Our pastor has been speaking on grace the past few weeks. If I, if we, could really grasp that our condemnation is gone because of Jesus' sacrifice, we wouldn't be judgemental anymore. We wouldn't beat ourselves up if we don't perform to our standards. We would pick ourselves up and give it our all, over and over. There is no such thing as defeat. Again, I haven't yet processed this enough to write it very well. Maybe you'll get it anyway.

Our challenges develop Godly growth in our lives. Have you ever met someone for whom life has been easy? They have never had the discipline in their lives to grow their character. I am grateful for the things in my life that have been hard. I would also never want to do them over again! :) But, the depth, the passion, the reliance on God, and the perseverance they have developed in my soul are priceless to me.

This way of thinking is somewhat new to me. I am developing new habits of thought. I always enjoy hearing your thoughts!