Honoring Our Children

I've been reading John Bevere's book Honor's Reward this week. Incidentally, Liz T and I were at the filming of one of John's curriculum DVDs for this book. That was pretty cool. I feel like I always say this, but seriously, this message could change your life.

He sets up from Scripture the fact that we are commanded by God to honor those in authority over us, those who are our peers, and those who are under our authority. Then, he spends the rest of the book explaining how to walk that out and telling incredible stories about how God has blessed him, his family, and those he knows that practice this principle.

If you've never read a John Bevere book, it's somewhat like a spiritual journey. The thing about this book that struck me was how pervasive dishonor is in our culture. We're taught to dishonor parents, teachers, political figures, doctors, our children, old people, young people, people who mess up, people who seem too "clean." The list goes on and on. John, in his straightforward way, explains how that goes against what God has asked us to do as Christians and therefore we miss the good life that comes when we live life the way our creator told us best works. (Sorry - hope you can follow that sentence.)

It's a simple concept, really, when you honor somebody they do everything they can for you. So does God, because when you honor people, you're really honoring God. You can't do it in a phony way, because people see right through that, but if you can really honor people from your heart, you recieve blessings. It's a spiritual principle.

Onto honoring our children.... I've been thinking about this. Humans have immortal spirits - they will never die. They will live forever either in Heaven or Hell. So, we all are, in a sense, ageless. Our children are placed by God under our authority to be trained and encouraged as they grow, but their spirits are just a valuable when they are 2 as when they are 45. Therefore, they are worthy of the same respect we would pay a peer. That doesn't mean we are released from our responsibility to them - to care for their needs, to train them in the way they should go, to give them the love and affection they need. I think it clarifies that responsibility all the more! However, we as moms know (and have probably dished out) discipline that honors and discipline that dishonors our children.

I am more convinced than I've ever been that there is no excuse whatsoever for demeaning our children. I've just been through three or four days of constant temper tantrums with Hannah. They were hard. But after understanding this message, and because of the fear of God that is in my heart, I will never treat my children in a dishonoring way again. And if I do, I will ask their forgiveness and God's forgiveness.

Thinking through all of this, I have realized some hard feelings I had toward Hannah that I never realized before. I have put expectations on her that were unfair, and then been upset when she did not fulfill them. I had a long talk with God about this, and my feelings toward her are different right now, today, than I think they've ever been. God can change our hearts - we are only good at putting on fascades that don't hold up under pressure.

This is still new and taking hold in my heart, but I feel like it is lifechanging. I highly recommend you get the book, and begin praying (as I am) for a heart that honors people.