A couple of tangents...

1. I got a telemarketing call on the Maeve phone today, a guy wanting to design and market a website for us. I decided to go along with the call...after all, he's trying to do the same thing we're trying to do when think about it. I ended up telling him that we would love for him to design us a website, except that we are starting our business without debt and therefore have no money to pay for such a thing yet.

He stuttered a little, and said, "Excuse me? Without DEBT?!?" As if he wasn't sure he heard me right.
"Yes."
"How would you do that?"
"Well, we have alternate sources of income right now, and we have decided to put most of our profit back into the business in order to grow it, rather than taking out loans."

Since we've been Dave Ramsey followers for over a year now, I guess I forget what a novel idea this really is. Sad day...people cannot imagine being able to start a business without loans...

2. I have been thinking about time a lot lately. In the working world I was in for several years before kids, time=money. Efficiency is highly valued. Because my brain works very quickly, I was able to provide that efficiency, and was always praised for it. Kids do not value efficiency. They only want to know how important they are to their parents. They do not (at least at this age) care if they are on time or late, whether they accomplish much or little in a day, or even how they are perceived by other people. They only want to know their value.

If I'm not careful, I find myself constantly pushing or pulling against time. Things come too quickly or not quickly enough. There is no sense of rest, of trust. Even daily tasks become things to rush through, trying to get to the next thing. For what? Whose schedule am I on? Who am I trying to impress? Certainly not my kids. Nick doesn't ask that of me. So I can only conclude that I'm trying to prove my own worth, my own ability to do EVERYTHING.

Here's how this works out in my life: getting frustrated with Hannah for dawdling on her walk to the car because we're late? Not worth it. Working to have a spotless house when I haven't slept well the night before and I have an opportunity for a nap? Silly. I have small hearts I must protect, and I cannot do that on too little sleep. Committing myself to extra activities, even good ones, when I know my family has not had enough quality or quantity time together? Not gonna do it.

I'm becoming very purposeful about my time. That doesn't mean I'm scheduled to the minute and I can't stop for the important things. That means I slow down enough to see what's important.

Alright. Making myself some lunch, putting away groceries, and I'm off to take a nap.