Where to start...

So, sometimes life gets just hard enough that you don't want to write. After three weeks + of sickness in the house, I came to the end of myself. :) Really, it didn't even take that long. As of tonight, I have an extremely sore throat, but no other symptoms, and the girls are finally well. I don't know why in the world we all got so sick this time, but we did. Actually, I think I do know why.

Thoughts I have had (you have plenty of time to sit and think philosophical thoughts when you're sitting up all night with sick kids):

-Why me?
-Poor me.
-What about me?

Then I started actually applying the five books I've been reading (I usually read that many at once), and had some more productive thoughts:

-1 Tim. 2:15 says, "But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety." I have had two women who I greatly respect tell me they believe this means the act of laying down your own life and your own agenda is what helps us women to become Christlike.
-Hannah obeys so much better when I give her specific one-on-one time, and mean what I say when I say it. I had gotten a little bit lazy with her discipline. I hate labeling kids because I don't think it's productive, but The Strong Willed Child is just about the most helpful book I have read in a long time. One thing I like about it is that he assumes I am a competent, loving parent. When you explain to a loving parent how they can lovingly help their kids mind (and there any multiple ways, not just spanking), the home can be peaceful and happy rather than full of anger. Spanking does not equal anger, kids out of control because their parents don't know what to do with them equals anger.
-When we spend the money (it only took about $100) to make our home a more beautiful place to live, I actually want to be there. Profound...
-It is only in laying down my own agenda for the day that I can be at peace when I stay home with my kids. This is the hardest stinkin' thing to do, but when I can do it, the freedom in our home is incredible.
-I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, and I have never learned a life of prayer. I'm learning it now.
-I am more confident in my value to God than I have ever been. I think I have spent my entire life being defined by my accomplishments and talents. Talk about being behind the scenes...motherhood will take the pride right outta ya.

I guess I'll quit there. This has been an intense time of introspection for me. I'm excited to see where God is leading me as a woman, a wife and a mother. And also where He'll take me in worship ministry, because there may be some opportunities there in the coming months. I feel like I got a fresh start, and all because of some dumb flu bug... Funny how God works these things out.