My life is very different from this blogger's, and therefore we do not always agree. But, I love her post today. This is how I am trying to approach our grocery shopping now. You can feel the place of peace and trust that she speaks from, even as you read her words.
She touches on something I've been pondering as I slowly read John Bevere's "Drawing Near." Many times when we are unhappy or restless, what we're craving is intimacy with God. But instead of seeking God for our fulfillment, it's easy to become disappointed with God in some way, and sometimes it's hard to believe we will find what we need there, or maybe we just don't want to slow down enough to spend the time. So instead, we fill our spirits with spiritual "junk food," and eat, or shop, or watch tv, or read away the desire. We've filled ourselves up, but it doesn't satisfy.
When Nick and I went away overnight, we had bought tickets to see a movie in a few minutes, but I was starving. We walked several blocks downtown, trying to find something relatively cheap that would be gluten-free. After having no luck, I settled on Taco Bell, because there are a couple of menu items with some protein that I know to be gluten free. I'm not used to eating that kind of food anymore, and as I ate it, I could totally sense that it was filling my stomach, but not nourishing me. I'm so used to nourishing food that I could tell the difference!
Being a mom is hard. Sometimes I'm tempted to do whatever it takes to survive. But I don't want to just survive - I want to thrive! I wonder if life will always be a struggle because I refuse to resign myself to "good enough." But I can't bring myself to believe that good enough, "junk food," is okay for us.
I was challenged by an email I got yesterday from a mom looking to join our mom's group. She said she was, "looking to get connected with other young moms in the area who are walking with the Lord in an intimate way and looking for other women to share life with." A simple statement, and yet it communicates so much. She doesn't just want to be with other women, she wants real deep connection with Godly women who will encourage her in her walk with God. Oh, that we can be that for each other!
What do you ladies think about this?
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Honor
A while back I talked about reading John Bevere's Honor's Reward. Here's an interview with him about that same subject. This is a principle that we try our best to live by. It's difficult, and sometimes we do it better than other times, but I just feel this is such a rich teaching, full of daily application. Part one and part two.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Question Authority
Kim has written yet another very insightful post. Some of the reading I have been doing lately has pointed to the value of being under authority, and I'm been meditating on that. We have many authority figures in our lives, and being under their authority brings certain protection in each case. For example, submitting to police officers (the law) brings physical safety as we don't drive too fast. This first one is usually not too hard for people to swallow. In addition (and maybe harder), submitting to the pastor and elders of your church as your spiritual authority brings protection spiritually (and keeps you from doing stupid things!). Submitting to your husband as the head of your home brings personal protection - protection from having ungodly attitudes, from mean people, from having to carry the burden of a role that is not ours to carry as women.
God doesn't ask us to mindlessly, brainlessly, and without question follow every word of those in authority. In fact Paul asked the churches to examine every word they were taught and make sure it lines up with Scripture. We as wives have input that our husbands desperately need, if they are to become all that God has for them (they also have similar input for us!). We see things they don't see sometimes. But questioning authority must always be done with respect and honor for the position of the one in authority.
Alright. I'm done with the soapbox for today. Would anyone else like to borrow it?
God doesn't ask us to mindlessly, brainlessly, and without question follow every word of those in authority. In fact Paul asked the churches to examine every word they were taught and make sure it lines up with Scripture. We as wives have input that our husbands desperately need, if they are to become all that God has for them (they also have similar input for us!). We see things they don't see sometimes. But questioning authority must always be done with respect and honor for the position of the one in authority.
Alright. I'm done with the soapbox for today. Would anyone else like to borrow it?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Football season is here part 2
So, I guess this post really struck a chord with everybody. I have to say, I was shocked at the sheer volume of replies. OK, so there were like 10. But that is a new record for this blog. :)
I have a bunch of thoughts, and they don't seem to follow any kind of progression, but I'd like to share them anyway.
If you didn't read Leslie's comment toward the end, you should. I think she hit the nail on the head. We need to know that we are important enough that our husbands will defend time with us like they would defend their time watching a game. As I thought through that, the times when I have been most cranky about Nick watching a game have been times we have not had enough quality time together.
Our lives have to be balanced. I think that means different things for different families.
You guys should all come over next time Nebraska is on tv. It'll be fun. I know it's a drive for some of you. I don't care. :)
I'm not sure I will ever get to a point where I get involved in the games. Nick's not even sure he wants me to. He told me last night that he feels like my disinterest keeps his interest in balance. I did, however, walk by a sports apparel store in the mall today. Nick has been talking about how he wanted a new Nebraska t-shirt to wear during games. So, I got him one. It made him laugh. Watching games...not so much. Buying clothes? I can handle that one! Ha!
I have a bunch of thoughts, and they don't seem to follow any kind of progression, but I'd like to share them anyway.
If you didn't read Leslie's comment toward the end, you should. I think she hit the nail on the head. We need to know that we are important enough that our husbands will defend time with us like they would defend their time watching a game. As I thought through that, the times when I have been most cranky about Nick watching a game have been times we have not had enough quality time together.
Our lives have to be balanced. I think that means different things for different families.
You guys should all come over next time Nebraska is on tv. It'll be fun. I know it's a drive for some of you. I don't care. :)
I'm not sure I will ever get to a point where I get involved in the games. Nick's not even sure he wants me to. He told me last night that he feels like my disinterest keeps his interest in balance. I did, however, walk by a sports apparel store in the mall today. Nick has been talking about how he wanted a new Nebraska t-shirt to wear during games. So, I got him one. It made him laugh. Watching games...not so much. Buying clothes? I can handle that one! Ha!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Football Season is here
I have a confession to make: I have a love/hate relationship with football. Okay, so it tends more on the hate side than the love side. Every fall, I am torn.
On the one hand, I love my husband very much, and he loves football very much. Somebody remind me of the algebra illustration that I cannot remember here. If (something) and (something) then (something)=(something) :) At least it should.
Anyway, I grew up in a home where we did not watch sports. My dad enjoys them, but never really followed a team, and neither of my brothers caught the bug, whatsoever. In fact, the thought of Ryan or Nathan sitting in front of a game is humorous to me, come to think of it.
Nick, on the other hand, is from Nebraska. Nebraska is the world headquarters of college football fans. There is nothing like a Nebraska fan in the world. Seriously. When we go back there to visit, the streets are literally empty if there's a game on. Football is what men, and women for that matter, do. When Nick calls his parents, the first 20 minutes are usually a debate about what player is doing well this week, or whether someone will be well enough from their injury to play, or chat about some new exciting recruit. To be honest, I tune it out.
Thankfully, I have a husband who is incredibly understanding about this difference in our cultures. When he watches a game, he will usually chase the girls around the living room, change diapers, referee arguments, and even interact occasionally. He does not yell at people (or at the tv. :) Now that we have DVR (this is BAD - incredibly addictive!) he will even "pause" the game and deal with a crisis. Happily, I might add.
So my issue is, I am a grouch. I cannot figure out for the life of me why it frustrates me so much that he likes this. Yes, it is time out of our weekend, but it's not THAT much time. Every time he watches a game, I wrestle with my attitude the entire time. I go into martyr/feel sorry for myself mode. I hate that I am so stinkin' selfish about it.
Does anybody else deal with this? This is like the one thing Nick ever asks for himself...
On the one hand, I love my husband very much, and he loves football very much. Somebody remind me of the algebra illustration that I cannot remember here. If (something) and (something) then (something)=(something) :) At least it should.
Anyway, I grew up in a home where we did not watch sports. My dad enjoys them, but never really followed a team, and neither of my brothers caught the bug, whatsoever. In fact, the thought of Ryan or Nathan sitting in front of a game is humorous to me, come to think of it.
Nick, on the other hand, is from Nebraska. Nebraska is the world headquarters of college football fans. There is nothing like a Nebraska fan in the world. Seriously. When we go back there to visit, the streets are literally empty if there's a game on. Football is what men, and women for that matter, do. When Nick calls his parents, the first 20 minutes are usually a debate about what player is doing well this week, or whether someone will be well enough from their injury to play, or chat about some new exciting recruit. To be honest, I tune it out.
Thankfully, I have a husband who is incredibly understanding about this difference in our cultures. When he watches a game, he will usually chase the girls around the living room, change diapers, referee arguments, and even interact occasionally. He does not yell at people (or at the tv. :) Now that we have DVR (this is BAD - incredibly addictive!) he will even "pause" the game and deal with a crisis. Happily, I might add.
So my issue is, I am a grouch. I cannot figure out for the life of me why it frustrates me so much that he likes this. Yes, it is time out of our weekend, but it's not THAT much time. Every time he watches a game, I wrestle with my attitude the entire time. I go into martyr/feel sorry for myself mode. I hate that I am so stinkin' selfish about it.
Does anybody else deal with this? This is like the one thing Nick ever asks for himself...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
My love
Three years ago Tuesday, I married my best friend.
It was a rainy, misty day, the coldest July day in Colorado Springs history. The ceremony that was to be outside was moved inside, to the barn already decorated to host the reception. Tables were pushed aside for an aisle, the wreath wrapped with ribbon and tulle was re-hung, and a horse and carriage came to pick up my father and me from my parents' house down the dirt drive. I carried a bouquet of wildflowers. My cousins played harp, violin and viola. A couple hundred people we love saw us exchange our vows.
It wasn't what I expected. The ceremony could not take place in the wet grass under dripping pine trees, but the barn was warm(er), and full of joy. The mist outside gave our pictures a magical quality. The caterer we hired fell on hard times and did not have the money to serve what he had promised. Nobody will remember the food anyway. The best man dropped my ring on the dusty wooden second floor of the barn. We were all thankful there were no cracks for it to fall through, and laughed. Pastor Ross, who Nick and I respect now more than ever, served us communion and made jokes about "all Nick has to do is be like Jesus."
And I married my best friend.
Three years, one c-section, one homebirth, four (soon to be five) moves, and one seizure later, I love him more now than I ever thought I could. We have two beautiful children, a relationship of mutual trust and respect and tenderness, and a great future. I love you, Nick.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Community
For those of you who don't know, I host a small group for moms with young children. Every Thursday morning, we all get together, bring our kids, and hang out. The kids play and we supervise and even get to chat some. It has been my sanity some weeks.
Actually, I first started it when I read the book Lifegiving. I stumbled across it at the library one day, and was very inspired by the portrayal of Godly hospitality in the book. I had just found out I was pregnant with Audrey, and Hannah was still under a year old, but I was compelled by the idea that I should be opening my home to other women. We were living in a 700 square foot home with hand me down furniture (still have lots of that!), I was newly pregnant with a young baby already, and I was feeling very insecure and sorry for myself. "Why would they want to come here, Lord? Many of them come from nice homes and they have it all together, and they have their own friendships." I complained a lot, but I couldn't get rid of the feeling. Finally, I started the small group out of obedience. I had never really felt "good" at hospitality. I didn't think I had anything to offer anybody, but I wanted to be obedient.
That was a year and a half ago now. This morning there were five of us. It has never really grown any bigger, but neither has my living room! We had a great time looking at each others' wedding pictures and laughing at the funny things our kids did. I'm so glad I obeyed.
What I really want from that group, is the old sense of community, of shared life. Growing up, my parents had friends they had grown up with. I remember BBQ's and pool parties and craft days with fondness. Colorado is a place most people "transplanted" to. There are few real natives around. So, there are few people with deep ties to...anybody. That's not the way we're supposed to do Christianity, or life as Christians. There's no way to succeed that way. We need interdependence. If we don't have it, we need to create it.
I want to have and be the kind of friends who can show up on your doorstep and you'll be glad to see them, whether the kitchen is clean or you have makeup on, or the kids are dressed...or not. Do people still have friends like that? I wonder sometimes..
Actually, I first started it when I read the book Lifegiving. I stumbled across it at the library one day, and was very inspired by the portrayal of Godly hospitality in the book. I had just found out I was pregnant with Audrey, and Hannah was still under a year old, but I was compelled by the idea that I should be opening my home to other women. We were living in a 700 square foot home with hand me down furniture (still have lots of that!), I was newly pregnant with a young baby already, and I was feeling very insecure and sorry for myself. "Why would they want to come here, Lord? Many of them come from nice homes and they have it all together, and they have their own friendships." I complained a lot, but I couldn't get rid of the feeling. Finally, I started the small group out of obedience. I had never really felt "good" at hospitality. I didn't think I had anything to offer anybody, but I wanted to be obedient.
That was a year and a half ago now. This morning there were five of us. It has never really grown any bigger, but neither has my living room! We had a great time looking at each others' wedding pictures and laughing at the funny things our kids did. I'm so glad I obeyed.
What I really want from that group, is the old sense of community, of shared life. Growing up, my parents had friends they had grown up with. I remember BBQ's and pool parties and craft days with fondness. Colorado is a place most people "transplanted" to. There are few real natives around. So, there are few people with deep ties to...anybody. That's not the way we're supposed to do Christianity, or life as Christians. There's no way to succeed that way. We need interdependence. If we don't have it, we need to create it.
I want to have and be the kind of friends who can show up on your doorstep and you'll be glad to see them, whether the kitchen is clean or you have makeup on, or the kids are dressed...or not. Do people still have friends like that? I wonder sometimes..
Friday, May 4, 2007
Submission...dun dun duhhh....
I read Titus this morning. Random. But in it I found an interesting list. According to Titus 2:4, 5, these are the things older women are supposed to teach younger women:
to love their husbands and children
to be self-controlled and pure
to be busy at home
to be kind
to be subject to their husbands
I could go a number of directions with this post, but I've been reading a lot of places lately where women get all up in arms over phrases in the Bible like "be subject to their husbands."
Any of you who knew me before I was married know that I was a very independent type. I think because I knew what I wanted out of life, I scared off most guys. :) Even guys who would spend tons of time with me, and there were many, could never quite make the leap to calling me their girlfriend. Well, there was one who would have liked to, but that's another story. When Nick first saw me their was never any question in his mind. We were meant to be. :) Anyway, I would, and still will, defend women's rights to do whatever they want to do. I would defend that into the ground. Women are Capable of doing whatever they want to do. My only question - is it best?
A healthy relationship consists of a man and a woman. The traditional man's job is to protect and provide for the woman. The traditional woman's job is to nurture, encourage, and submit to the man. I think the reason most women rebel against that role is because there are far too many men who do their job poorly, or even miserably! Think about it: women want to be protected. Our romance novels that so many women are addicted to because there is nothing like it in their own relationships, constantly portray the woman in a terrible circumstance where a kind, strong man comes to their rescue. That is one essence of romance.
I'm not talking about submitting to a man who will dominate me - control me, tell me every move to make, criticize me and make me feel worthless. I'm talking about a man who will lay down his life to make mine better - ask my opinions and consider them, rub my back when I'm tense, hold me when I cry, help out as much as he can, uncomplainingly get up for work every day and make sure I have clothes to wear and food to eat. This kind of a man is not frightening to submit to. He has my best interest at heart.
I think the essence of the argument for and against submission comes to whether I ultimately know what's best for me, or whether he ultimately knows what's best for me. The Bible talks about the husband being the head of the household. I don't believe this is an antiquated idea. Even in a business partnership, somebody has to have the power of 51%. In any relationship there are going to be disagreements. It is my job to communicate my needs to my husband because he's not a mind-reader. From there, with my needs in mind, it is his job to decide how those needs should be met.
The nicest thing about this arrangement? If he makes a bad decision, it was his to make, not mine. I don't bear the burden of having made it. I think that's too heavy a burden for a woman to carry. Men carry it with much more ease. At the point of having made a poor decision, it's my job to brush him off, encourage him, and allow him to make the next decision as a wiser man. Criticism is completely inappropriate.
I have a very strong personality. Nick's is more laid-back, thank goodness. If we were both strong we might just kill each other. It took a while of being in relationship with him for me to figure out how to submit to someone like him. His ideas come more slowly than mine in discussions. He misses nuances of conversation that I never miss. He doesn't care much about a mess in the house. However, I determined even before we were married, that I did not want to "wear the pants" in our house. I make it a point to wait for his opinion about things. I allow him the final say in major decisions. I try to encourage him and build him up with my words rather than tearing him down. I do not criticize him in front of other people. When I do call him on something I do it privately and lovingly. He, in turn, can't wait to come home. He calls our home his refuge. He figures out a way for me to buy clothes when I need them. He loves our children, but he loves me more. When we argue, and we do sometimes, we speak to each other in a tone and using words of respect.
So, all of this to say: I'm happy to submit to my husband. It is a relief to me. I feel sad for women who are unwilling to do it and therefore spend their whole lives with a sense of fighting a war. That's not how we as women should have to live.
Now, I realize that not all women have the blessing of being in relationship with a man who will lay down his life for them. I don't feel sorry for them. Here's why: as soon as you begin to feel like a victim of somebody else's attitude, you lose all control. You can't control them, but you can control what you contribute to the problem. The Bible says that even unbelieving spouses can be won over by their believing spouse if they will exercise submission and kindness. Women, don't stay with physically abusive men. But, if they are really good guys who have just forgotten who they really are, remind them. Don't remind them by criticism, remind them by finding any little thing you can to compliment. Make your home a place he'll want to come home to, if you want him home and happy. Allow him the final say in decisions when you would normally battle to be "right." As long as he's not being abusive, allow him to make decisions about your children's health and discipline when he feels strongly about it. This kind of thing just may soften even a hard heart and rekindle something you thought was lost. And it's not easy - but women can do anything, right?
And another thing - if you are not currently married, please, please find someone who will live in these roles with you before you commit to them. I promise you'll be happier. Life doesn't have to be a continual battle - even women get tired!
to love their husbands and children
to be self-controlled and pure
to be busy at home
to be kind
to be subject to their husbands
I could go a number of directions with this post, but I've been reading a lot of places lately where women get all up in arms over phrases in the Bible like "be subject to their husbands."
Any of you who knew me before I was married know that I was a very independent type. I think because I knew what I wanted out of life, I scared off most guys. :) Even guys who would spend tons of time with me, and there were many, could never quite make the leap to calling me their girlfriend. Well, there was one who would have liked to, but that's another story. When Nick first saw me their was never any question in his mind. We were meant to be. :) Anyway, I would, and still will, defend women's rights to do whatever they want to do. I would defend that into the ground. Women are Capable of doing whatever they want to do. My only question - is it best?
A healthy relationship consists of a man and a woman. The traditional man's job is to protect and provide for the woman. The traditional woman's job is to nurture, encourage, and submit to the man. I think the reason most women rebel against that role is because there are far too many men who do their job poorly, or even miserably! Think about it: women want to be protected. Our romance novels that so many women are addicted to because there is nothing like it in their own relationships, constantly portray the woman in a terrible circumstance where a kind, strong man comes to their rescue. That is one essence of romance.
I'm not talking about submitting to a man who will dominate me - control me, tell me every move to make, criticize me and make me feel worthless. I'm talking about a man who will lay down his life to make mine better - ask my opinions and consider them, rub my back when I'm tense, hold me when I cry, help out as much as he can, uncomplainingly get up for work every day and make sure I have clothes to wear and food to eat. This kind of a man is not frightening to submit to. He has my best interest at heart.
I think the essence of the argument for and against submission comes to whether I ultimately know what's best for me, or whether he ultimately knows what's best for me. The Bible talks about the husband being the head of the household. I don't believe this is an antiquated idea. Even in a business partnership, somebody has to have the power of 51%. In any relationship there are going to be disagreements. It is my job to communicate my needs to my husband because he's not a mind-reader. From there, with my needs in mind, it is his job to decide how those needs should be met.
The nicest thing about this arrangement? If he makes a bad decision, it was his to make, not mine. I don't bear the burden of having made it. I think that's too heavy a burden for a woman to carry. Men carry it with much more ease. At the point of having made a poor decision, it's my job to brush him off, encourage him, and allow him to make the next decision as a wiser man. Criticism is completely inappropriate.
I have a very strong personality. Nick's is more laid-back, thank goodness. If we were both strong we might just kill each other. It took a while of being in relationship with him for me to figure out how to submit to someone like him. His ideas come more slowly than mine in discussions. He misses nuances of conversation that I never miss. He doesn't care much about a mess in the house. However, I determined even before we were married, that I did not want to "wear the pants" in our house. I make it a point to wait for his opinion about things. I allow him the final say in major decisions. I try to encourage him and build him up with my words rather than tearing him down. I do not criticize him in front of other people. When I do call him on something I do it privately and lovingly. He, in turn, can't wait to come home. He calls our home his refuge. He figures out a way for me to buy clothes when I need them. He loves our children, but he loves me more. When we argue, and we do sometimes, we speak to each other in a tone and using words of respect.
So, all of this to say: I'm happy to submit to my husband. It is a relief to me. I feel sad for women who are unwilling to do it and therefore spend their whole lives with a sense of fighting a war. That's not how we as women should have to live.
Now, I realize that not all women have the blessing of being in relationship with a man who will lay down his life for them. I don't feel sorry for them. Here's why: as soon as you begin to feel like a victim of somebody else's attitude, you lose all control. You can't control them, but you can control what you contribute to the problem. The Bible says that even unbelieving spouses can be won over by their believing spouse if they will exercise submission and kindness. Women, don't stay with physically abusive men. But, if they are really good guys who have just forgotten who they really are, remind them. Don't remind them by criticism, remind them by finding any little thing you can to compliment. Make your home a place he'll want to come home to, if you want him home and happy. Allow him the final say in decisions when you would normally battle to be "right." As long as he's not being abusive, allow him to make decisions about your children's health and discipline when he feels strongly about it. This kind of thing just may soften even a hard heart and rekindle something you thought was lost. And it's not easy - but women can do anything, right?
And another thing - if you are not currently married, please, please find someone who will live in these roles with you before you commit to them. I promise you'll be happier. Life doesn't have to be a continual battle - even women get tired!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Women
I've been doing a lot of reading about women lately. That kind of sounds strange, I guess, but it's true. Ever since having my children, I've been thinking a lot about why God created us women, and what it means to be a wife and mother.
I have read a few books about this. Captivating (Eldredge) is mostly about God's heart toward women. It talks, among other things, about how men show the strong, warrior side of God, and women can show the merciful, lifegiving side of God. Since we're created in His image (ok, long theological debate there, but go with me for a minute), He demonstrates aspects of His character through His creation. That resounds with me, especially when I look at my babies and think, "You did not even exist before." I had a part in giving life to a person. That is a massive thought.
I also recently read The Red Tent (Diamant). Before you go out and get it, let me warn you that it is very sexual in content. No worse than the standard paperback novel, I would guess. I don't read many of those, but definitely at least PG-13 rated in my book. This book is the imagined story of what Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah in the Bible, could have been like. The author took her extensive knowledge of Jewish tradition and married it with the Biblical narrative. It makes for fascinating reading, even though you know it's just a story. Anyway, the main point of the book is exploring feminine relationships - sister to sister, mother to daughter, friend to friend, and the power that is there. The book treats the husband-wife relationship just as powerfully, but shows there is also something unique to female relationships that is needed in our lives.
Besides those books, I also have my own experiences. I've had one emergency c-section and one homebirth. I know women who have had both experiences, and there are many common things between us. I also lead a small group for women, which probably monthly makes me realize interesting things about how women live and make life work. I also have two sisters and a mother in town, and we communicate fairly openly between the four of us. And, I have two amazing little girls whom I love dearly.
I haven't yet found some answers I'm looking for. I think maybe that's because I'm not sure what the question is. What does it mean to be a woman? Maybe. Seems a little too broad (no pun intended!:). How does God use us as women? Yes, but still not quite right. Maybe it's about purpose and what I'm meant to demonstrate to the world around me. I'm just not sure.
One thing I do know - I'm enchanted by women who are doing it, whatever it is, well. And I'm deeply grieved by women who have been broken down by the world and can't do it at all.
I have read a few books about this. Captivating (Eldredge) is mostly about God's heart toward women. It talks, among other things, about how men show the strong, warrior side of God, and women can show the merciful, lifegiving side of God. Since we're created in His image (ok, long theological debate there, but go with me for a minute), He demonstrates aspects of His character through His creation. That resounds with me, especially when I look at my babies and think, "You did not even exist before." I had a part in giving life to a person. That is a massive thought.
I also recently read The Red Tent (Diamant). Before you go out and get it, let me warn you that it is very sexual in content. No worse than the standard paperback novel, I would guess. I don't read many of those, but definitely at least PG-13 rated in my book. This book is the imagined story of what Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah in the Bible, could have been like. The author took her extensive knowledge of Jewish tradition and married it with the Biblical narrative. It makes for fascinating reading, even though you know it's just a story. Anyway, the main point of the book is exploring feminine relationships - sister to sister, mother to daughter, friend to friend, and the power that is there. The book treats the husband-wife relationship just as powerfully, but shows there is also something unique to female relationships that is needed in our lives.
Besides those books, I also have my own experiences. I've had one emergency c-section and one homebirth. I know women who have had both experiences, and there are many common things between us. I also lead a small group for women, which probably monthly makes me realize interesting things about how women live and make life work. I also have two sisters and a mother in town, and we communicate fairly openly between the four of us. And, I have two amazing little girls whom I love dearly.
I haven't yet found some answers I'm looking for. I think maybe that's because I'm not sure what the question is. What does it mean to be a woman? Maybe. Seems a little too broad (no pun intended!:). How does God use us as women? Yes, but still not quite right. Maybe it's about purpose and what I'm meant to demonstrate to the world around me. I'm just not sure.
One thing I do know - I'm enchanted by women who are doing it, whatever it is, well. And I'm deeply grieved by women who have been broken down by the world and can't do it at all.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Online Communities
My friend Kim posted this today about whether the relationships formed through online dialogue are "real." I think she makes some great points.
I have this to add: I am currently re-reading a book by John and Stasi Eldredge called "Captivating." Here's an excerpt I think applies:
"For many centuries women lived in close fellowship with other women - gathering at the well, down by the river,m preparing meals - many occasions for femininity to just sort of naturally pass from older women to younger women. Our intuition, our keen eye for relationship, our ability to grasp matters of the heart made any sort of formal "passage" into femininity unnecessary. Nowadays those opportuntities are nearly gone. When we meet as women, it tends to be in high-stress situations - corporate meetings with deadlines, ministry meetings with agendas, PTA meetings with concerns. The home is the only place left for this vital transmission of feminine identity."
I submit that the internet has become another place for this "vital transmission." We can learn how to cook, how to take care of children, how to manage our households, how to clean, how to love our husbands, how to love our God, and any number of other things from watching other women. When we blog, we give a little glimpse into our private lives that I think have become a little TOO private in our society. We need to know that others have struggles, and they need to know the same about us. When we have other capable, loving women we are learning from we are able to be confident in our methods.
This is a post for another day, but I also see it as proof that humans were created for relationship. If we don't have them, we FIND them. In whatever way necessary!
I have this to add: I am currently re-reading a book by John and Stasi Eldredge called "Captivating." Here's an excerpt I think applies:
"For many centuries women lived in close fellowship with other women - gathering at the well, down by the river,m preparing meals - many occasions for femininity to just sort of naturally pass from older women to younger women. Our intuition, our keen eye for relationship, our ability to grasp matters of the heart made any sort of formal "passage" into femininity unnecessary. Nowadays those opportuntities are nearly gone. When we meet as women, it tends to be in high-stress situations - corporate meetings with deadlines, ministry meetings with agendas, PTA meetings with concerns. The home is the only place left for this vital transmission of feminine identity."
I submit that the internet has become another place for this "vital transmission." We can learn how to cook, how to take care of children, how to manage our households, how to clean, how to love our husbands, how to love our God, and any number of other things from watching other women. When we blog, we give a little glimpse into our private lives that I think have become a little TOO private in our society. We need to know that others have struggles, and they need to know the same about us. When we have other capable, loving women we are learning from we are able to be confident in our methods.
This is a post for another day, but I also see it as proof that humans were created for relationship. If we don't have them, we FIND them. In whatever way necessary!
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