Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Can't Touch This!

12 Weeks!

OK, I couldn't resist the title. Hopefully you won't be fighting that song in your head the rest of the day...

I've been mulling over this post for a few months now, and now that I have a (albeit tiny) baby belly, I figure I now have the authority to say it.

I often hear pregnant women ranting about how much they hate that people want to touch their belly. Here's the disclaimer for this post - don't miss it - it is kinda weird when complete strangers and men in general touch women's bellies. I gotta say that first. Don't be creepy, people.

That said, here's my thought: the type of people who will touch pregnant bellies are typically the type who do not understand social norms. I think you'll give me that. They don't "get" personal space. Therefore, I submit to you that the desire to touch pregnant bellies comes from an instinctual or possibly even spiritual place.

I think people want to touch because they want to be connected with new life.

Our society has become so disconnected from each other. Touching is taboo, though at the same time sexual images are pervasive. (How does that work, by the way?)

I'm rambling a bit, but the point I want to make is this: it should be okay for us to touch each other in healthy ways, especially between Christians. We need to be touched. You may have something in your past that makes you a little uncomfortable with being touched. That's okay. You still need it. We all do.

Now, it still weirds me out when men other than my husband touch my belly. But, if we women can't touch and bless each others' babies, who can? I think we should be (or work on becoming) open enough with each other that we can receive this kind of touch as a blessing and not as torture. I particularly feel this way when older Christian women want to touch me. Please, please do. I need your mothering. I need your encouragement. I want my children to be blessed by your years of walking with the Lord. Same goes for my close friends.

I don't want to go through life isolated because of the social norms of the world around me. So, feel free to hug me. And bless my growing baby through your touch. We all need it!


  1. I'm totally with you on the touching! I have a mentor in Las Vegas who is a big toucher: he hugs, holds hands when he prays, draps his arms around his friends' shoulders and generally gets in your space. I absolutely *loved* it and I find that it brings me closer relationally to the guys in my life. Unfortunately, not a lot of other guys agree. In fact, some are downright homophobic about it. I hope we can break down some of the walls we've put up to isolate ourselves from the world and from the "danger" of intimacy with others.

    (I'm not going to go touch a pregnant woman's belly, though)

  2. OK, good. But feel free to hug my husband. ;)

  3. I don't think I would feel comfy touching someone's belly that wasn't a good friend...but it doesn't bother me when friends or acquaintances touch long as I'm far enough along that you could potentially feel the baby - belly touching at 12...15 weeks...weird.

    Strangers touching is...strange.

    Good notes mamma...thanks :)

    PS - your photo looks great! you are so teenie!! :) I love your baby bump!

  4. I am all for other women touching my pregnant belly, but I find it overly personal when men do it. I remember being pregnant with Cole, I had literally peed on the stick the night before and when Chris told a male friend of ours--the dude reached over and rubbed my 6/week pregnant belly. It was weird.

    I don't mind touching, but for me physical touch can be overwhelming. I have elevated senses and so it isn't always pleasant for me to be touched. I'm good with a warm friendly hug, but please don't rub my shoulders or stroke my hair and I am cool with NOT holding hands with my husband.

    You know me Sara, I am a friendly girl. But people who are too physically friendly make me uncomfortable. I think this also goes back to love languages. You can hug me, but that might not convey love to me. Now if you were to offer me a cup of tea or brought me a book you just finished that I might like--love.

    Food for thought

  5. Strangers-I reeeeeally don't like it.

    Friends-I've always been okay with a few quick pats or if the baby is actually moving (Like Thea said-far enough along) so they can feel it.

    Great post.

    Can I say completly off subject, that you look hot! I mean you are one of those hot pregnant people. I'm a week behind you and about 6 weeks bigger...and ah-hem it's not baby. :)

    daaa na na na..... (thanks)

  6. I agree. :) And I think you look SO cute. :)

  7. P.S. Are you up for doing some maternity photos when the time comes?? :)

  8. You better watch out. Belly-touching is ON next time I see you! :)

  9. Oh, I love you guys. All of you. Whether you agree with me or not. I knew this would get mixed responses and I love that.

    And Meg - yes, PLEASE!!! :)

  10. I agree, I didn't really have a problem with people touching my belly while pregnant with Ava...but once she came out, so protective of her personal space. And such an adorable baby bump you've got!