Showing posts with label something i think is important. Show all posts
Showing posts with label something i think is important. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Cutting Yourself a Break
David and Becky Grothe, the marriage and family pastors at church, came to our small group to visit last night. We had been wanting some older couples around to encourage us, and they so graciously volunteered to come, even during the busy Christmas season! As we talked with them, I had to ask a question that has been bugging me for months.
"What do you do when you're too tired to be nice anymore?"
Everyone chuckled a bit, as I expected. What parent of young children has not felt that way?
Their response surprised me.
I expected a long speech about asking God for strength, taking a minute to pray, reading your Bible more... What Becky said was to relax the expectations on yourself. She started telling stories about just sprinkling Cheerios on the carpet for her twins to pick up, because they would end up there anyway; about her feeling of shame over her small house and old furniture. She said having peaceful happiness is more important than a clean house. Don't do more house-keeping (or other stuff!) than allows you to be kind and happy with your children.
Then, I opened up my reader today and saw Kim's post about the same thing.
I have been concerned about the habits our children form, based on what they see while growing up. Obviously we don't want to raise our kids thinking it's okay to live like pigs. However, personally, when my kids are grown I would much rather their houses be messy than constantly tense, overworked, unhappy, and tired. Striking the balance between an appropriate level of cleanliness and not overworking ourselves is a tough thing, but I'm grateful for the "permission" to have a messy house. Thoughts?
"What do you do when you're too tired to be nice anymore?"
Everyone chuckled a bit, as I expected. What parent of young children has not felt that way?
Their response surprised me.
I expected a long speech about asking God for strength, taking a minute to pray, reading your Bible more... What Becky said was to relax the expectations on yourself. She started telling stories about just sprinkling Cheerios on the carpet for her twins to pick up, because they would end up there anyway; about her feeling of shame over her small house and old furniture. She said having peaceful happiness is more important than a clean house. Don't do more house-keeping (or other stuff!) than allows you to be kind and happy with your children.
Then, I opened up my reader today and saw Kim's post about the same thing.
I have been concerned about the habits our children form, based on what they see while growing up. Obviously we don't want to raise our kids thinking it's okay to live like pigs. However, personally, when my kids are grown I would much rather their houses be messy than constantly tense, overworked, unhappy, and tired. Striking the balance between an appropriate level of cleanliness and not overworking ourselves is a tough thing, but I'm grateful for the "permission" to have a messy house. Thoughts?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Noise, Again
More wisdom from Seth Godin today...
I have noticed that when I get the most stressed, feel the most overwhelmed, the most discontent, and am the most mean to my kids (um, yesterday comes to mind-bad afternoon/evening for us); is when I am reading everything I can get my hands on, on the internet. Our brains are not meant to process as much information as is available to us. So how do we make it stop? Do we go on internet fasts? Do we give ourselves time limits (that we will inevitably break)? Do we do away with the internet altogether (not really an option, I don't think)?
Thoughts?
I have noticed that when I get the most stressed, feel the most overwhelmed, the most discontent, and am the most mean to my kids (um, yesterday comes to mind-bad afternoon/evening for us); is when I am reading everything I can get my hands on, on the internet. Our brains are not meant to process as much information as is available to us. So how do we make it stop? Do we go on internet fasts? Do we give ourselves time limits (that we will inevitably break)? Do we do away with the internet altogether (not really an option, I don't think)?
Thoughts?
Monday, December 8, 2008
Noise
Love this quote from Seth Godin: "And most of all, get straight on who you are trying to please, and why."
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